I can’t deal with the guilt of burdening someone who cares about me with knowledge of how much I want to not exist. I know exactly how that burden of anxiety and worry feels and I can’t stand saddling someone I know and care about with it. It doesn’t matter whether they want me to or not, I just can’t deal with it. They’ll all want to help and they can’t and they’ll feel terrible they can’t help and I can’t put them in that place.
If I tell someone about suicidal ideation, confide in them, then if I ever do end up killikg myself it would wreck them that they couldn’t or didn’t do anything to help. Or at least, I would in their position. Fuck.
Ok…
I can’t deal with the guilt of burdening someone who cares about me with knowledge of how much I want to not exist. I know exactly how that burden of anxiety and worry feels and I can’t stand saddling someone I know and care about with it. It doesn’t matter whether they want me to or not, I just can’t deal with it. They’ll all want to help and they can’t and they’ll feel terrible they can’t help and I can’t put them in that place.
If I tell someone about suicidal ideation, confide in them, then if I ever do end up killikg myself it would wreck them that they couldn’t or didn’t do anything to help. Or at least, I would in their position. Fuck.