i realize this is incredibly privileged that i’m even capable of doing this, but i’m thinking about just going away for a while. selling everything i own, dropping my lease, cutting contact with the few friends and family i have left, and just… leaving.
is that crazy? am i crazy? i’m just so fucking tired, so fucking tired of being the person that i am. or at least pretending to be the person that i was in front of the people i know.
do you want to talk a bit more on your experience? what changed for you?
I moved from the Netherlands to Austria rather gradually; first a winter as a ski instructor and summer back home, after the second winter here I tried summer in Mallorca but after two months I left and found something else in Austria. Another winter and I came back for summer to that same town I taught skiing in.
It probably would’ve been better for me if I could find something in a city instead of this very tiny town, cause now I have one good friend and that’s about it.
In my case, it was very hard finding a place of my own while building up something of a life here, so that now that I have one, it’s very hard to leave here even though I am deeply unhappy; I don’t want to have to start over again.