cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/14030641

Sir Grumpus L Shorticus has been named as the Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for Ynys Môn.

Describing himself as ‘Half Man Half Biscuit’ Sir Grumpus is one of 22 Monster Raving Loony candidates standing across the UK for the Westminster Parliamentary election on 4th July.

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Sir Grumpus’ key policies include creating a unique time zone for Wales, building a third Menai crossing …. From Dublin and deporting illegal Grey Squirrels to Rwanda.

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Sir Grumpus L Shorticus’s SIX-STEP Plan for Ynys Môn

1. A UNIQUE TIME ZONE FOR WALES – Reduce the hour from 60 minutes to 40, fully reversing the 20mph speed limits back to what they were without the cost of changing all the signs – again; and creating a whole new industry in manufacturing Welsh time pieces.

2. BUILD THE 3RD CROSSING – FROM DUBLIN – But fiscal stewardship is key, so a return crossing will only be built when public finances allow.

3. GREY SQUIRRELS ENTERING ANGLESEY ILLEGALLY WILL BE SENT TO RWANDA – Badgers, to their county of origin.

4. YNYS MÔN TO RE-JOIN THE EU – Build Wylfa B, reverse the generated power into the wind-farms which would then propel Anglesey to an EU country of choice.

5. A PRIVATE MEMBER’S BILL TO MAKE THE MISUSE OR OMISSION OF APOSTROPHE’S A CRIMINAL OFFENCE – Improper grammar in text messages will also incur a Fixed Penalty, increasing Treasury revenues a trillion-fold – an App to be developed to make automatic payment on hitting ‘Send’.

6. A FLEXIBLE APPROACH TO POLITICS – These pledges are sincerely held beliefs and promises, but may be changed on a whim.

7. IMPROVE MATHS EDUCATION FOR ADULTS