• CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Friends: buying houses and having kids.

    Me: let’s get a motorcycle license babe.

    Tbh we started off with her going: “i want a tiny you, someday” to eventually: “i can’t stand kids, no thanks” (we visited her sister abroad for a week and her kids totally drained us) and now we’re back to: “i kinda want a baby as it’s now or never” while i completely embraced the idea of never having kids once she asked me to get a vasectomy (i didn’t as i didn’t feel it was neccesary).

    I’d rather just make more money and have more fun. I never fit in well so i doubt my kids will too, i don’t want that for them. Heck i also don’t want the current state of society for them, i don’t even want that for me.

  • RQG@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    You thinking those friends married and with kids are not depressed?

    Source: was married with kids and depressed for years.

    • comador @lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      It absolutely can help, but it also depends on the individual and everything else going on in your life.

      Source: Parent of 3; two in college, one in high school.

      • CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Not really. Judge for yourself, and follow the legit studies. If you’re already happy, in a good relationship, and in a country (not the US) that heavily supports parenthood, and you’re the father, then at least you might break even.

        (tl:dr) “Parents will always be quick to proclaim the gifts and blessings their children provide, but a more detached appraisal calls into question this conventional wisdom.”

        https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-having-children-make-people-happier-in-the-long-run

        • comador @lemmy.world
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          10 hours ago

          Even your own link reiterated everything I said: It depends on the individual and everything else going on in ones life.

          You live in a child oppressive society like Asia or the United States? No shit it’s harder to be happier than without children

          Income, society, your partner, your parents and more importantly: your own ability to endure the ups and downs of it all matter when it comes to your respective happiness as a parent.

          But it comes down to the individual and it’s each individual’s choice, period.

          I am in America, but I also married into a minority group who is immensely supportive. No question my life feels more enriched having had children because I love being with the family my wife and I created.

          Sorry, for the late response, I was enjoying my weekend and my life.

          • CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world
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            10 hours ago

            This post stated “…as depressed as me” that implies they are looking for kids to pull them out of some level of depression.

            That’s a terrible strategy for everyone involved, but especially the kids. If this was your chosen depression coping strategy three times over, PLUS in the US, I guess good for you, but generally speaking it’s not supported by broad societal studies.

            The article I chose was just a quick search, but there are quite a number of studies that support not using childbirth as a mental health coping mechanism.

            You sound a bit defensive and passive aggressive to me. I hope you are truly, deeply fulfilled and are just having an off day.

  • 97xBang@feddit.online
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    2 days ago

    I’m not gonna have kids so they can start competing with me for crying time. That’s a limited resource, and I need all of it.

  • SplashJackson@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Guess what, you can do all three! It’s a simple matter of holding the phone in one hand while whipping a tit for your baby in the other!

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    2 days ago

    Living your best life!

    No seriously though. Do what makes you happy because it’s your life. Everybody dies at the end.