For thursday’s sentencing the us government indicated they would be happy with a 40-50 prison sentence, and in the list of reasons they cite there’s this gem:
- Bankman-Fried’s effective altruism and own statements about risk suggest he would be likely to commit another fraud if he determined it had high enough “expected value”. They point to Caroline Ellison’s testimony in which she said that Bankman-Fried had expressed to her that he would “be happy to flip a coin, if it came up tails and the world was destroyed, as long as if it came up heads the world would be like more than twice as good”. They also point to Bankman-Fried’s “own ‘calculations’” described in his sentencing memo, in which he says his life now has negative expected value. “Such a calculus will inevitably lead him to trying again,” they write.
Turns out making it a point of pride that you have the morality of an anime villain does not endear you to prosecutors, who knew.
Bonus: SBF’s lawyers’ list of assertions for asking for a shorter sentence includes this hilarious bit reasoning:
They argue that Bankman-Fried would not reoffend, for reasons including that “he would sooner suffer than bring disrepute to any philanthropic movement.”
These clowns are so fucking incompetent at being evil geniuses that they need a document outlining their Evil Plan™ and not once think how that might be a stupid idea.
at this point, multiple people involved in crypto have been famously caught with a
crimes.txtfile on their unencrypted desktop, in signal chats named some shit like financial crimes and real gamers clubhouse where they talk about the crimes and Fortnite they’re doing, or with toilet phones protected by ziplock bags with crime burner phone (with evidence of my crimes) written on the bag with a sharpieI suddenly feel like Hackerman because my PGP-encrypted file with Steam backup tokens is infinitely better secured than some crypto bro’s detailed confession of crimes that could land them jail for 50 years.
I wonder how much of this is hubris from the cryptocurrency assholes consistently trying to confuse the public into associating their horseshit with general cryptography (especially with the crypto abbreviation for both) and in the process gaslighting themselves into thinking they’re cryptography and computer security experts
This is why my
crimes.txtfile just contains the recipes that I really should not try making, like Jake Morgendorffer’s chile con cheesepuffs with fresh mint, and my actual crime plans are in… oh ho, I see what you did there, you clever jack-a-napes!