Please do not give me shit for using Facebook. It’s how I keep in touch with relatives, most of whom live abroad, and my brother, who is has ASD prefers to communicate with me that way.
I would rather not use it, but I would prefer keeping in touch with my brother.
That said, I would not let AI keep in touch with my brother for me.
My dad now uses AI to write all his texts to me.
He’s autistic and dyslexic and texting was always a massive struggle for him, so he’d leave voice messages, or just call me, and they’d be rambling and non linear, but it was my dad and his voice, his personality.
A few years ago he’d use dictation to send texts, and it was pretty funny because he hadn’t no way of proof reading them and dictation is never great for people with accents or speech problems… but now he will just use the microphone to ask whatever AI assistant is built into his phone the same rambling question he would have previously just voice messaged me.
And Copilot re-writes his rambling question and spits out a message that sounds like some formal business email. So now there’s an extra level of misinterpretation, an extra level of being removed from communicating with the human being.
I’ve asked my dad if he finds AI easier than just leaving a voice message (because I personally think sending a voice memo is easier) and he says he likes it because it makes him feel like he’s “normal” and can do the things everyone else has always been able to do with ease, even though he knows its not perfect.
I can definitely see the value in AI as an accommodation tool, and it has helped my dad a lot in his professional life where previous accommodation tools haven’t been adequate to “keep up”.
But I do miss hearing my dad, or reading his personality come through in the poorly dictated texts. My brother has gotten really annoyed at dad for this because my brother it’s also autistic and it’s actually harder for him to communicate with dad with an AI middle man, they’ve lived together for almost 30 years and they basically have their own language, so the AI texts my brother gets from my dad drive him nuts, when he and my dad have never had issues communicating.
I’m also worried that it’s effecting the limited literacy skills he does have, he’s getting rusty because he no longer has to try at all most days.
I sympathize with this. People on the spectrum already have a hard time just living, then they have the extra hurdle of having a hard time communicating their hard time. It feels very human to want to hide the struggle, it makes you feel more like you belong in the world and that you are just one of the other billions out there being “normal” and doing “normal” things. That’s a longing that I’ve felt, but I’m fortunate enough to not have felt it to the degree your father seems to have. I hope you and your brother find a way to get through to him.
I take it you’ve already expressed to him that you miss feeling like you’re actually communicating with him? I doubt it’d be a magic pill that would solve the issue away, but it would likely help if he could interiorize that his loved ones appreciate him for being who he is. I wish things get better for you.
Oh definitely, he knows, but I also know and understand his perspective. For him, masking and unmasking when texting his boss then texting his family is exhausting and incredibly emotionally taxing. While I don’t meet the clinical criteria for an autism diagnosis, I do struggle with a few of the same things my brother and dad struggle with, particularly around processing, emotional regulation, and burn out, so I’ve been in his shoes where I know I’m doing something the hard way, or I know we’d all be happier with another method, but changing the task or changing the routine or process is even harder, even though the process I’d be changing to would be easier and better, initiating that change feels like an insurmountable climb.
Besides, my dad had to try and put up with my hyperlexia when I was growing up - before I had the emotional maturity to understand my dad’s needs, I can’t even imagine how much he suffered from my frustrating communication style being imposed on him. Now he’s older, it’s my turn to suffer 😂 (that is, it’s my turn to let him explore the ways he wants to communicate, even if it’s not what I want.)
That’s a super interesting perspective on this stuff. Sorry you’re going through that internet brother - I hope you can communicate to your dad that he’s loved the way he is. Definitely seems to be true