This is just like the dumb HR tests that are like "You see a coworker engage in inappropriate behavior. Should you A. Notify your supervisor, B. Punch them in the face, C. Piss on the floor.
At least the correct answer is obvious instead of a test with vaguely-worded trick questions and ambiguous answers. Those are the tests that make me livid.
I work in a place that’s closed off to the public by Federal Law, where you need to badge in, just a janitor, nothing fancy, they make us watch training videos and stuff. They warn us to pay maximum attention, because we’ll be barred from the site if we fail, losing our jobs in the process.
And the questions are things like
“Which of the following is safe to drink? A) Filtered Water, B) Literal Poison, C) Lava, D, A School Bus”
It’s so blatantly rigged in the favor of the test taker that I suspect they literally wouldn’t even have the test if it wasn’t a legal requirement.
We also keep getting tested for things that don’t even make sense, like recently we were meant to watch a thing on where and when it’s safe to take a smoke break… Despite the fact that tobacco and marijuana are banned form the site and will be confiscated by security if we bring any… So what exactly are they smoking
Oh right, we’re meant to be smoking chocolate, forgot the Troy McClure film.
Seriously though, most of my training is entirely irrelevant as they involve scenarios I’d never be in due to the nature of my job, scenarios I’m literally not allowed to be in, or scenarios that don’t even exist in the first place…
And the questions are always things like
“If your supervisor asks you to do something illegal should you…” and the answers are non-sequitur alongside the real answer, like - A) Report it to the company hotline for illegal activity 555-555-5555 B) Oppress Women & Minorities, C) Run naked into a blizzard, D) Jump off a cliff and into spikes, or E) Pray to Magi-Chan Sonichu in order to hasten the coming of the Dimensional Merge"
The most subtle examples of this are when they ask a question, and one of the answers is suspiciously and overly detailed, while the others are so overly generic that it’s like they wrote the right answer for one, and then just whatever they can think of off the top of their heads.
fun fact but I find the opposite to be true in trivia games, if an answer is too detailed it’s more likely to be false. That’s how I won a trivia game about the life of some guy when I barely recognised his name
These are less for your education as it is for management/HR to absolve responsibility: “We trained them to not do <xyz>, it’s not our fault they did it”
We have such a test too, but not as extremely dumb. But it’s still in the realm of: how do you wear your high-vis-vest? A: well visible from all sides B: hidden under your jacket to not get it dirty.
See, you and I may think things like this are obvious but there are some idiots out there that need to be told the obvious things otherwise they end up doing the truly stupid things.
This is just like the dumb HR tests that are like "You see a coworker engage in inappropriate behavior. Should you A. Notify your supervisor, B. Punch them in the face, C. Piss on the floor.
At least the correct answer is obvious instead of a test with vaguely-worded trick questions and ambiguous answers. Those are the tests that make me livid.
I know right? Clearly you piss on the floor.
The secret is to choose the most Ned Flanders response.
I work in a place that’s closed off to the public by Federal Law, where you need to badge in, just a janitor, nothing fancy, they make us watch training videos and stuff. They warn us to pay maximum attention, because we’ll be barred from the site if we fail, losing our jobs in the process.
And the questions are things like
“Which of the following is safe to drink? A) Filtered Water, B) Literal Poison, C) Lava, D, A School Bus”
It’s so blatantly rigged in the favor of the test taker that I suspect they literally wouldn’t even have the test if it wasn’t a legal requirement.
We also keep getting tested for things that don’t even make sense, like recently we were meant to watch a thing on where and when it’s safe to take a smoke break… Despite the fact that tobacco and marijuana are banned form the site and will be confiscated by security if we bring any… So what exactly are they smoking
Oh right, we’re meant to be smoking chocolate, forgot the Troy McClure film.
Seriously though, most of my training is entirely irrelevant as they involve scenarios I’d never be in due to the nature of my job, scenarios I’m literally not allowed to be in, or scenarios that don’t even exist in the first place…
And the questions are always things like
“If your supervisor asks you to do something illegal should you…” and the answers are non-sequitur alongside the real answer, like - A) Report it to the company hotline for illegal activity 555-555-5555 B) Oppress Women & Minorities, C) Run naked into a blizzard, D) Jump off a cliff and into spikes, or E) Pray to Magi-Chan Sonichu in order to hasten the coming of the Dimensional Merge"
The most subtle examples of this are when they ask a question, and one of the answers is suspiciously and overly detailed, while the others are so overly generic that it’s like they wrote the right answer for one, and then just whatever they can think of off the top of their heads.
fun fact but I find the opposite to be true in trivia games, if an answer is too detailed it’s more likely to be false. That’s how I won a trivia game about the life of some guy when I barely recognised his name
These are less for your education as it is for management/HR to absolve responsibility: “We trained them to not do <xyz>, it’s not our fault they did it”
No shit
We have such a test too, but not as extremely dumb. But it’s still in the realm of: how do you wear your high-vis-vest? A: well visible from all sides B: hidden under your jacket to not get it dirty.
See, you and I may think things like this are obvious but there are some idiots out there that need to be told the obvious things otherwise they end up doing the truly stupid things.
deleted by creator
I snorted while eating and almost choke thanks to your comment.