Due to this, I’m afraid of working on my own projects. This fear especially intensifies when I’m reaching some kind of milestone or personal goal (e.g. implementing a feature in software, or going to the next phase of a drawing), and end up procrastinating instead. Even worse is that I believe if I could get them finished, I could probably fix my current financial state.
Please note that in my country (Hungary), public mental health care is nearly nonexistent, and they’re only existing so the state can point to it. I don’t have any money for the private stuff, and I have higher priority health concerns that would benefit from higher-quality care (e.g. switching anti-seizure medications as my current doctor ignores its side effects).
Failing is a part of success. You learn what didn’t work, refine your technique, and try again.
If all you do is succeed, you don’t know why and can’t learn from it.
Success is the work of trying and failing, repeatedly, until what you’re doing doesn’t look like failing to outsiders. But even then you know what was wrong with your successes.