I fucking hate my parents. They always make me out as the problem. I keep getting mixed signals on whether they are lgbt accepting and are ultra religious.
One day i get a signal that maybe coming out as bisexual wouldnt be a wreck, the next they ramble about how im a failure for not liking the catholic church and how they just wanted to “raise me right” .
Every fucking day I’m always the problem apparently. And then they wonder why I’m trying to protect my siblings from them. I’m sick of it.
Pretty much every day I’m shouted at for one reason or another
It’s okay to be angry, and to have big feelings. But also, remember that your parents are people. There’s two sides to that, everyone has biases and perceptions that they can’t see past, but there is also the spiritual and beautiful things that transcend all of that.
Beauty and love surpass all the other stuff. Look for the ways that there can be love between you, even when it also means holding the tension of love and anger together. It can work like that, and sometimes that’s just what family is. Also before you know it you’ll be on your own and that will give you a whole new perspective on family as you build a new life for yourself.
I remember when I still lived with my parents it was impossible to see past their flaws. But now as an adult on my own, I have a much greater appreciation for how easy it is to be shitty and how hard it is to be good.
At the end of it all, sometimes you just gotta feel your feelings, hoping that at the end of it you’ll be a little bigger and a little more expensive, able to hold more of life together and not less.