The 60s and 70s (for me) had no awareness of my problems. Only now am I discovering that I did what I could, but I wasn’t equipped to deal with people well.
It’s too late for me, but I’m glad kids today have more resources, although the problems are just as hard to navigate.
God bless you all.
It’s worth pointing out that the act of remembering a moment overwrites the memory with your current memory of that memory.
In essence, by cringing at your own behavior, you place a negative and self-abusive frame upon it.
Try to start practicing self-forgiveness. Laugh at yourself. Smile at your own naive behavior.
It does work, but it takes time, and it’s never too late to start forgiving yourself.
Thank you. Unfortunately, I have a lot of real blame to take over my prior behavior. I used a lot of aggression to get out of my cage. But much better now, surrounded by love, but there are those who will never forgive my past.
It’s hard to forgive yourself when there are some who confront you every time you see them, although you’ve told the truth and apologized, demanding a new and better repentance.
I feel very exposed writing that. Sorry to overshare.
Apologizing to them is also enough to forgive yourself. Regardless if they won’t accept the apology, you’ve grown enough to recognize past mistakes, and made reasonable attempts to amend them, there’s no need to dwell on it any longer. It’s okay to try and make the past right, and move forward with what You’ve learned and continue to grow as a person.
No, I get what you mean. You should at least forgive yourself because you are a better person now.
That others think you still deserve to be punished is enough. You don’t need to add your pain to the mix, but it is easy to do that.
That’s hard. Real hard. I can’t say what atonement would look like, that’s maybe therapist territory, but I can say that it’s OK to protect yourself. You can’t change the past and undo the hurt you did. I don’t see anything wrong with avoiding people you have hurt after you apologize.
That’s not oversharing. That’s just adding detail.
It’s okay to have made mistakes, and it’s definitely okay for not being able to be perfect. No human is or can be. What’s important is that you’ve chosen to be better going forward.
That advice about self forgiveness the other user gave you was excellent. I still need to work on that more, but I know from experience that it’s an important thing to practice.
I found this helps a lot. It’s just not possible to avoid all mistakes. So seeing it as a moment to learn from is much better than regretting it