I’m not sure that I fully agree. I mean, to each their own etc., but what you’re describing seems to be more suited for relationships without marriage. The whole idea of being married is that your discuss this stuff before your wedding and then don’t just get separated because you “don’t feel it anymore”. The idea is that, if you feel like you drifted apart, that your work on that and don’t just get out of that relationship on a whim. That’s the promise you give. And even if you agree with your partner to just go separate ways (yeah yeah, consenting adults can do whatever the fuck they want, sure), a divorce has the significant chance to screw you financially for decades. I mean, I don’t know how it is in the US, but I’ve seen too many people who got their finances completely fucked by partners that they consentingly parted ways with, who they swore would treat them fairly. Too many houses repossessed, too many careers ruined.
Is it okay to get separated? Sure. It’s obviously also okay to remain close and support each other, of course. But this comic promotes a lighthearted approach to something that deserves a much more careful and serious take that I don’t agree with. Those first few panels should have made them get counselling, not divorced.
People change. They discover things about themselves. Their goals change. Of course anyone thinking of getting married should try to uncover any potential deal breakers before committing, but it’s still no guarantee they won’t encounter unsolvable problems later.
That’s the key word right here. Two panels of “you know, I’m feeling boyish” “and I kinda want to have kids” isn’t “trying to solve it and realizing it’s not possible”, that’s just “starting to share feelings and needs”. The way this story is told just suggests that this slight notion of plans no longer being aligned perfectly warrants a divorce, which is far from what that legal construct of “we’re a financial union now which means we can royally fuck up each other’s lives if we feel like it” should entail. This isn’t a story of unsolvable problems, this is the story of two people that don’t take the legal responsibility they got into seriously. It suggests a lighthearted approach to getting divorced that is so far from the possible legal fallout of it that I just think it’s absurd.
If this was a comic that told years of them trying to meet each other’s needs and not being able to, I’d be on the same page. But that’s not the story that was told here. There wasn’t a single panel where either person even just tried to suggest how things might still work for them or find some common ground. No panel about acknowledging the other person’s desires and trying to merge them with one’s own needs. The comic was “I feel this”, “I feel that”, “great, let’s just happily divorce”, which is absurd as soon as we’re talking about anything that’s beyond teenage finances.
Buddy, let me explain something to you. I do not want children. Ever. If I were married to someone who decided they wanted children, I would for sure get a divorce, because there is no compromise to be made. Having a child is all or nothing. You can’t halfway become a parent.
Of course, anyone I might marry would understand why a divorce is necessary and wouldn’t fight me on it.
Lol why? what moral ground are you coming from to suggest that other people should be serious about what you think is serious? Nothing is serious, we’re all just meat bags. If you want to get counseling go for it. For most people it’s better just to divorce quicker and not prolong your dissatisfaction because of some weird social or pseudo-religious adherence to norms.
Depends. Marriage being for ever is social baggage. Marriage existing is social baggage. Society unfortunately doesn’t make it easy to get divorced because it doesn’t tolerate any alternative types of unions. Why can’t I marry my two boyfriends if we all live together?
I’m not sure that I fully agree. I mean, to each their own etc., but what you’re describing seems to be more suited for relationships without marriage. The whole idea of being married is that your discuss this stuff before your wedding and then don’t just get separated because you “don’t feel it anymore”. The idea is that, if you feel like you drifted apart, that your work on that and don’t just get out of that relationship on a whim. That’s the promise you give. And even if you agree with your partner to just go separate ways (yeah yeah, consenting adults can do whatever the fuck they want, sure), a divorce has the significant chance to screw you financially for decades. I mean, I don’t know how it is in the US, but I’ve seen too many people who got their finances completely fucked by partners that they consentingly parted ways with, who they swore would treat them fairly. Too many houses repossessed, too many careers ruined.
Is it okay to get separated? Sure. It’s obviously also okay to remain close and support each other, of course. But this comic promotes a lighthearted approach to something that deserves a much more careful and serious take that I don’t agree with. Those first few panels should have made them get counselling, not divorced.
People change. They discover things about themselves. Their goals change. Of course anyone thinking of getting married should try to uncover any potential deal breakers before committing, but it’s still no guarantee they won’t encounter unsolvable problems later.
I know and that’s also not what I said.
That’s the key word right here. Two panels of “you know, I’m feeling boyish” “and I kinda want to have kids” isn’t “trying to solve it and realizing it’s not possible”, that’s just “starting to share feelings and needs”. The way this story is told just suggests that this slight notion of plans no longer being aligned perfectly warrants a divorce, which is far from what that legal construct of “we’re a financial union now which means we can royally fuck up each other’s lives if we feel like it” should entail. This isn’t a story of unsolvable problems, this is the story of two people that don’t take the legal responsibility they got into seriously. It suggests a lighthearted approach to getting divorced that is so far from the possible legal fallout of it that I just think it’s absurd.
If this was a comic that told years of them trying to meet each other’s needs and not being able to, I’d be on the same page. But that’s not the story that was told here. There wasn’t a single panel where either person even just tried to suggest how things might still work for them or find some common ground. No panel about acknowledging the other person’s desires and trying to merge them with one’s own needs. The comic was “I feel this”, “I feel that”, “great, let’s just happily divorce”, which is absurd as soon as we’re talking about anything that’s beyond teenage finances.
They’re talking about wanting children. Disagreeing on that is absolutely an unsolvable problem.
It certainly is if you don’t talk about it. There may be various middle grounds here but you won’t find them if you just get divorced.
Buddy, let me explain something to you. I do not want children. Ever. If I were married to someone who decided they wanted children, I would for sure get a divorce, because there is no compromise to be made. Having a child is all or nothing. You can’t halfway become a parent.
Of course, anyone I might marry would understand why a divorce is necessary and wouldn’t fight me on it.
Lol why? what moral ground are you coming from to suggest that other people should be serious about what you think is serious? Nothing is serious, we’re all just meat bags. If you want to get counseling go for it. For most people it’s better just to divorce quicker and not prolong your dissatisfaction because of some weird social or pseudo-religious adherence to norms.
y tho?
You’re making statements predicated on your beliefs that may not be shared by everyone.
Depends. Marriage being for ever is social baggage. Marriage existing is social baggage. Society unfortunately doesn’t make it easy to get divorced because it doesn’t tolerate any alternative types of unions. Why can’t I marry my two boyfriends if we all live together?