I think that this video has helped me develop some insight on how to spot high-masking autism, not just among women. I found a lot of the material covered in the video relatable even though I am male. Maybe that has something to do with our elevated rejection of established gender roles as a whole. Regardless, I like how rather than listing concrete signs, he gave a list of patterns that would be common to masking autistic women (I believe all genders, really) in a manner that could still be easily noticed. This also helped me understand that the cause of some autistic traits are not fundamental, but rather a result of masking. 🤯
Aside from the signs of masking autism, the ending hit me emotionally. He validates something that no one has really validated for me. I’ve been told my entire life that I was too much, not enough, or purposely trying to violate rules and norms out of some moral or character failing. It’s like I wanted to be careless/offensive or a loser. However, when he covered how much effort we put into masking and that it takes a lot of energy to do, I felt a validation I don’t remember ever experiencing. It’s like someone said, “I believe you’re doing your best.”
He also elaborates on the impact of when we tell someone that we’re autistic or have difficulties in certain areas and they invalidate it by saying that we’re not autistic or that we function normally. He then posits that when we unmask, we need others to validate that experience. I think that statement was not only directed at us, but others that have autistic people in their lives. I plan on using that to guide who I continue to allow in my life. If I need to mask or am invalidated by someone when I unmask, then they’re not a good fit for me, so I will interact with them less.
We’ve really gotten to the point where everything and everyone is autism in our culture and media. Being accepting is one thing, but this is exactly the sort of muddying waters that I hoped we could avoid. This will make it harder for proper care and help to be made available to the ones who need it the most.
Damn, you’re right. We wouldn’t want to humanize people with autism, now would we?
If it becomes undiagnosable because it’s too vague to differentiate with or without, then treatment and accessibility options will become unobtainable. Leave the medical science to the doctors, kids. You don’t need to be armchair diagnosing potential partners.
I think you misunderstood what he is saying. Maybe read it again. Not everyone who says they are autistic is actually autistic. It’s a diagnosis made by a doctor.
I think today it’s more and more common that young people just try to decide what they are themselves, and gets surprised when doctors don’t agree with them. It’s like if I would decide that im color blind despite being able to see all colors just fine.