I’ve only dated two people (I think I’m about to fuck this current situation up) but it seems like I don’t know how to handle it when the novelty of a new relationship somewhat calms down on my end and I’m dealing with someone who is ostensibly over attached and saying all of these wild things and love bombing me.

Things seemed to be going so well for us, but they suddenly became super physical when their lack of physicality was the exact reason I chose to date them in the first place, and that sort of took me aback :/

I’m posting in the nd forum because I suspect this is an example of not being able to deal with change (we’re on the same wavelength for a bit then I return to reality while they stay up in the clouds). It also takes up a loooooooot of energy. Shit suuuuuuuuuuuucks because I truly thought I had found the one :/

  • Mountain_Mike_420@lemmy.mlEnglish
    9·
    5 months ago

    We kind of need more information. You say you are being touched too much and the initial lack of touch is what attracted you. In the beginning of any relationship there is a natural curve to all of the things. Touch is one that goes from zero touches to a lot of touches once the relationship starts to grow. If you don’t want/ need these touches (it’s usually a good thing) then you need to have a frank discussion about your needs and if your new partner is going to be able to cater to these needs.

    I’m also curious about what the timeline of this situation/relationship is at. Like are you 1 month or 2 year in? How long have you known this person and where/how did you meet?

    Personally I think that it’s kind of hard to bounce back into the same vibe once it gets this lopsided and I believe that if you meet someone else right now that you would bounce on this relationship. The best relationships happen when both parties are on the same wavelength and communication goes a long way of keeping things in balance.

    One of the problems I have in my relationships is that I know 2 or 3 months in that this relationship is not going to work (I am looking for forever) but I stay in it and only bale when things start to go south. This is not fair to my partner and I realize now that it is abusive behavior on my part.