Dan Bongos, 42, of Newark is wanted by authorities after being found aboard said Dragon capsule as it returned to earth’s atmosphere. Not only do they want to know how he got on board, they also want to know how he survived in a low oxygen environment without a suit.
When the booster touched down he was seen running from the fuselage, naked, screaming “GAMESTONKS, ELON, DOGECOIN!”.
There’s now a 14 state wide manhunt for Mr. Bongos.
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Ah jesus, you got me…
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