Meme: Phoebe and Joey conversation.
P: I’m autistic, so my brain works differently
J: You’re autistic, so your brain works differently
P: Sometimes I misunderstand social situations without any awareness
J: Sometimes you misunderstand social situations without any awareness
P: But I respond very well to direct and respectful communication
J: But you respond very well to direct and respectful communication
P: So pls talk to me instead of punishing me
J: So I’m not punishing you the right way!
Punishment isn’t just a poor parenting tactic for folks with autism, it’s a bad parenting tactic 95-99% of the time. Communication and natural consequences are much healthier ways to go. (Natural consequences = “you broke your toy so you don’t have that toy any more,” or “you didn’t put shoes on so you don’t get to come to the restaurant where you have to have shoes on.”)
Baby Boomers never bothered to learn better ways to do things, and most of them seemed to have had kids from a sense of obligation, rather than any genuine want. They spent our childhoods reveling in their own ignorance, basking in their failing-upward careers, and gaslighting anyone smarter or more educated than themselves - which, of course, includes their own children.
My dad loved to quote “spare the rod, spoil the child”