My daughter is in online school. It’s a state public school, not a private school or homeschooling. She’s in it due to being severely bullied. I have to stay home with her, but I don’t actually teach her anything, I’m a designated ‘learning coach.’
She has assignments based on the same shitty Pierson textbooks the regular school kids use and has online classes with accredited teachers. Those teachers are generally get paid better than other public school teachers since the whole thing is a deal with Pierson, so they’re usually a better level of teacher, which is part of what pisses me off so much.
My daughter worked really hard on her science presentation, a slideshow she was assigned to do. The overall topic was humanity’s impact on the environment and one of the options she could pick was disease. My daughter is a weird kid- in a good way- who is into history when it’s weird too, so she picked the Black Death.
Like I said, she worked really hard. I was really proud of her too because it was the first time she worked on a project this big without asking for or needing any help from me. So, she saved the project as a PDF and submitted the assignment.
The next day (Thursday), she gets back a grade of a zero. This is the teacher’s note:
I noticed that you submitted a placeholder for the portfolio assignment. Is this an error? The portfolio is worth a lot…so please contact me as soon as possible. Please note that intentional placeholders are subject to not being accepted. If I don’t hear back from you soon, I will assume that it is a placeholder. Please do not upload placeholders to move ahead in the class as this may result in failing grades, calls home and referral to administration.
My daughter isn’t a cheater and, like I said, she worked really hard. This stressed her out a lot because one of the reasons we took her out of her middle school was that the teachers rarely had her back when it came to bullying and sometimes also treated her like shit. Because that’s what school is like for neurodivergent kids, even in 2024.
So… were totally confused. On top of everything else, the PDF was right there to download when you review the teacher’s message. I sent her an email asking her what the hell is going on and also have my daughter send her a Google Slides link instead just in case there is some corruption issue on her end or something even though I can download and view the PDF just fine.
We don’t hear back all Thursday and nothing until mid-day Friday, when she sent us both what is clearly a form email, ignoring both of the messages we sent:
Hello Parents and Students!
I wanted to take a moment to let you know that your student received a 0 on their science portfolio, but the great news is that there’s still a chance to improve that grade!
Please log into your student’s gradebook and click on the science portfolio grade to read the feedback provided. This feedback outlines how your student can correct any issues and resubmit the portfolio within the timeframe specified for a better grade.
Let’s work together to help your student succeed! Thank you!
She also responds to my daughter’s google slides link and says it’s a very interesting slideshow and asks where she got it from (you will see below why that is just a bullshit lie to get her to reveal that she cheated).
So I have my daughter also send her the PDF the “fill this out to help you with your research” document my daughter diligently filled out before doing her slideshow and I got mad and sent a message to her homeroom teacher, who you’re supposed to go to for any major problems.
My daughter is now super stressed, and Friday is a pretty easy day for her, so I take her out to do things to give her a nice day- get her a smoothie, let her walk around Five Below, etc.
When we get back, maybe at 1 pm, I check my email. I get this from the teacher:
I have to apologize!! When I first saw her portfolio and saw all the old pictures and the Black Death title, I assumed ( I know, I shouldn’t have) it was a placeholder.
She left a similar voicemail to my wife and apparently one to my daughter, but I didn’t read it. I just said thanks and told my daughter to say thanks as well.
But I’m just floored. She didn’t bother just reading the text. This is the slide right after the title slide. If she had taken a few seconds, she would have realized this is a middle schooler doing a science project:
(I’m not suggesting my kid is stupid, I’m saying that’s pretty typical for her age.)
Be a little less lazy than your eighth graders, lady. And maybe don’t automatically assume they’re cheating.
At least she ended up giving my daughter 100%.
Thank you. We got in a big fight with her last night because she refuses to eat healthily to the point that we’re honestly concerned and I really felt like a failure as a parent by the end, so that’s something that I needed to hear. You really helped me more than you could know.
Ha. Someone told me I was a good dad last week and I still feel weird about it.
Food is a hard thing to tackle. I can only imagine what it’s like with a teen. Healthy eating is hard and truly time consuming if you are not rich.
It’s hard with healthy habits and kids, it like ‘do the thing it’s good for you.’ Then they don’t and you get mad at them,
I make sure to say the implied part out loud, ‘do the thing it’s good for you. I want good things for you because I love you. ‘
Saying that part out loud helps ME focus on why I am saying it and why I would get so worked up over something. I often need to apologize and change my tone after I say it.
She has always been an extremely picky eater, which goes with being neurodivergent, but it’s getting to a crisis point.
Get help if you can find it. Crisis is a lot for everyone to deal with.
She has a therapist and a psychiatrist that we are trying to work with. It’s just been a very difficult week all around.
You care and that’s obvious. One thing all parents learn is that we have no idea how to do things “right”. As long as you keep caring to try and find that “right” things, then you can consider yourself a great parent.
You also go above and beyond what most parents will do. So, thank you for advocating for your daughter’s education.