Nah diehard atheism isn’t really my jam. I’m leaning more towards gnosticism / esotericism. I’m actually fine with the whole Jesus thing I just wanna skip the misogyny and do more chasing capitalists out of churches with whips while getting drunk with hookers. Also I’m actually kinda vibing with the aesthetic of the weird pseudoscientific spiritual shit because I like my placebos to have pretty rocks and starry shit and as an added side bonus it makes mansplainers really irrationally angry and that’s just funny asf. Also technically Christians and Satanists both believe in satanism the same way if you follow the original vein of satan just being the absence of god its just satanists think that’s a good thing and / or the truer nature of the world which is valid they’re just really edgy / pretentious about it and I’m not ready to buy a trilby just yet. I do admire their work in regards to abortion and reclaiming public and civic spaces from religious oppression. I guess that’s the issue though; Satanism is a political stance, I’m more looking for a spiritual philosophy and religious rituals that connect me to a wider community and provide patterns for my mind and body to latch onto for stability and comfort. Satanism doesn’t provide any of that which again, is fine, but not what I’m looking for.