I was in an incident that led to people complaining about me here and by extension in Ask Lemmy, one which I explained my perspective on elsewhere. Then, when sharing my perspective, I was asked by a certain Blaze to share it in YPTB, only for those in charge there to give what amounted to a signal of disregard for it and to take it elsewhere. Going by their own words, I then shared it in !fediverselore@lemmy.ca as the only close alternative available, which, as a part of their own “rules subtext”, sometimes allows this, and the person, if not all of those who help with YPTB, proceeded to drop by anyways and scold me because “YTPB has specific posting guidelines in the sidebar”.
The implication here is false, at least by my definition of the word “false”, and he even alluded to that after it began to be discussed elaborately, albeit before using an appeal to the masses (story of my life) and say “most people seem to understand”, which ignores consensus of me and the aforementioned Blaze (as much as the “the truth we all wanted to speak” remark ignores not everyone had that issue). Notice how I responded with “I can spot rules broken by the other person’s thread more easily than I can spot rules broken by mine” and got only thumbs down for it and no responses, yet when I actually dissected the rules piece by piece in front of him to point out that any rule I supposedly broke wasn’t there, which even the person who recommended I make the discussion in the first place (the aforementioned Blaze) agreed was a “fair point to be honest”, the mod then delved into the concept of “unspoken rules” as an excuse for himself and said he didn’t want to “rules-lawyer”, which not only disproves what he said about “specific posting guidelines” being “in the sidebar” that supposedly explained what I did wrong, but proved a point I commonly mention about people in different places including here always being uncritical and unwilling to see things for themselves and just taking peoples’ word for things (and about that, to respond to Cypher’s last reply, intellectual =/= intelligent). A part of that is it also suggests, by extension, that the quantity of thumbs down you garner is unreliable as consistently meaning anything, unless the rule is actually to apply gladiator logic and say a thumbs down signals mercy, as indicated by the very Roman-esque culture around here. I guess all this time, I was being praised and didn’t realize it?
This idea of “unspoken rules” and “reading between the lines” seems to be a common theme here because everyone seems to think that concept is valid, and they think that whether you’re akin to an outcast is defined by the norms you follow. This makes me curious to ask… hypothetically, if I get all PTB gradings from everyone because I couldn’t read the “unspoken rules” or anticipate mod discretion, what if I were to go to the places I have authority over and ban everyone who says or has said anything positive or supportive about Luigi Mangione or what he did? Would I be able to accomplish this without being called a PTB? After all, that is how this all started, and again, that would be an “unspoken rule” on its own that can be chalked up to mod discretion, now wouldn’t it? Those are the terms.
I await your choice.
The user, shinigamiookam, is grappling with the challenges of navigating a community where both written rules and unwritten norms (unspoken rules) coexist. Here’s a structured summary of their situation and thoughts:
In essence, shinigamiookam is exploring whether aligning with unwritten community standards through their own discretion could change how they’re perceived and treated within the group.
Thank you for this summary. I found it difficult to follow the original. It would be useful to have a similar list from OP about the specific mod actions they are complaining about, because most of this seems very vibes based and mostly revolves around them expecting people to agree with them, but finding the opposite.
This proves my point about self-expression as it doesn’t grasp the whole complexity or even all the necessary parts.
It doesn’t prove shit dude. You were just too lazy to put in the effort to summarize.
I did put in the effort. What you see is the best I could do. To insist otherwise is a bit scrupulously entitled. Nobody here is obligated towards anyone, and nobody typically ever is, though many of the criticisms here exist in a way that seem like the people felt a void must be filled showing we are.
I mean, if that’s the limits of the effort you are capable of mustering, why even bother griping out it in the first place? If this request is beyond the scope of even trying, why even bother?
No one’s asking for your kidney, just for you to condense your thoughts and issues. Your responses throughout reflect a simple laziness, and I do insist, that doesn’t warrant effort from anyone else. You talk about entitlement, but you are the one catching feels over the fact that you did a shit job of communicating an issue, and when asked to reflect and summarize, insisted it was impossible, an effort beyond your worldly powers, that we extend ourselves on your behalf because you simply cannot be obliged.
Give us all a break from your impotence then, and keep it to yourself next time.
Trying and failing =/= not trying
Barely trying and then refusing to engage with people litterally interested in understanding you is basically intentionally failing. If I had to warrant a guess, would guess that this kind of self sabotaging behavior is part of a broader pattern.
“Boo hoo nobody gets me 😭. No I won’t explain my issues or out out effort to meet the (very mild) requests of those interested in offering support. The world is against me.!”
I’ve been the one asking which parts people don’t understand, ready to paraphrase, and I have, but there was only one time when someone genuinely answered instead of leaving the question alone except to give thumbs down.
If I were to ask you questions like “what parts don’t you understand” or “can you give me what stands out”, what would your answer be? For those who don’t have one, there you go. I’m the one trying to work with everyone, most people here have just shunned even that, sometimes saying nothing and something responding with “boo hoo” sentences like that (for the record, “the world” isn’t against me, in fact I’m in several of the mod-exclusive servers and they are complimenting my stance/approach… as opposed to hysteric laypeople).
Do you see me resorting to jabs? Would it be a reach to guess that, in your words, this behavior is a part of a broader pattern?