You might find some success with a token system. A kid earns a “token,” and when they obtain a certain amount, they can earn a bigger reward. For example, you could draw a smiley face on a dry erase board every time the kid completes a required task. Once the kid gets 10 smiley faces, they can choose a reward for it. Preferred activities (such as playing a game, taking a trip to the park, or watching an episode of their favorite show) or being able to have a favorite snack, work for a lot of kids. The best call is to make a list of simple rewards that you know your kid enjoys and offer them choices from that list once they gain enough “tokens.”
It not only serves to satisfy the need for a dopamine spike when a task is done, but it also teaches delayed gratification and decision making for the child. They learn how to work toward a greater goal through taking small actions. Giving them a choice in what they earn gives them space for some autonomy, while curating what choices are available gives you, as a parent, the ability to work within what you’re able to provide in that moment.
It sounds like you’re part-way to such a system already, which is why it came to mind. Token systems are already commonly used in schools and in children’s therapy practices, so there are resources available if you’re interested in giving it a go.
Fully aware - we’ve tried it before, but it didn’t stick. Probably implementation issues or limitations here. They do this in his school with great success, and I think part of it is that he’s so extroverted that when there are other kids also competing, he finds the process more engaging. At home it’s just him so it falls flat. Maybe if me and mom were also on the chart earning smiley faces it would hit harder. Sounds kinda fun too.
Daddy made it to ten, get ready for an episode of Loudermilk!
That sounds like a fun twist on it! I like the idea of including the parents, it shows that we’re all responsible for our own actions, as well as capable of mistakes and improvement regardless of our ages.
I totally get what you mean about him being more motivated when other kids are around. I’ve worked with kids in a number of different positions over the years. Sometimes it’s easier to handle a group of 20 than a single individual, specifically because peers influence each other.
I can’t offer much more besides my support from afar, but from what I’ve read in this thread, you’re doing a great job. Either way, raising a kid isn’t easy, but it sounds like you’ve informed yourself and are doing the best that you can. Thank you.
You might find some success with a token system. A kid earns a “token,” and when they obtain a certain amount, they can earn a bigger reward. For example, you could draw a smiley face on a dry erase board every time the kid completes a required task. Once the kid gets 10 smiley faces, they can choose a reward for it. Preferred activities (such as playing a game, taking a trip to the park, or watching an episode of their favorite show) or being able to have a favorite snack, work for a lot of kids. The best call is to make a list of simple rewards that you know your kid enjoys and offer them choices from that list once they gain enough “tokens.”
It not only serves to satisfy the need for a dopamine spike when a task is done, but it also teaches delayed gratification and decision making for the child. They learn how to work toward a greater goal through taking small actions. Giving them a choice in what they earn gives them space for some autonomy, while curating what choices are available gives you, as a parent, the ability to work within what you’re able to provide in that moment.
It sounds like you’re part-way to such a system already, which is why it came to mind. Token systems are already commonly used in schools and in children’s therapy practices, so there are resources available if you’re interested in giving it a go.
Fully aware - we’ve tried it before, but it didn’t stick. Probably implementation issues or limitations here. They do this in his school with great success, and I think part of it is that he’s so extroverted that when there are other kids also competing, he finds the process more engaging. At home it’s just him so it falls flat. Maybe if me and mom were also on the chart earning smiley faces it would hit harder. Sounds kinda fun too.
That sounds like a fun twist on it! I like the idea of including the parents, it shows that we’re all responsible for our own actions, as well as capable of mistakes and improvement regardless of our ages.
I totally get what you mean about him being more motivated when other kids are around. I’ve worked with kids in a number of different positions over the years. Sometimes it’s easier to handle a group of 20 than a single individual, specifically because peers influence each other.
I can’t offer much more besides my support from afar, but from what I’ve read in this thread, you’re doing a great job. Either way, raising a kid isn’t easy, but it sounds like you’ve informed yourself and are doing the best that you can. Thank you.