No man ever found salvation at the bottom of a bottle, but maybe i can be the first

Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Maybe not, but maybe I could binge watch Archer my feelings away. That might work for the duration.

I’m afraid if I stop drinking all at once the cumulative hangover will literally kill me.

What if my feelings were thirst and hunger and I’m drinking Guiness?

Checkmate athiests

FYI: The title needs to be “me_irl” or it’s likely to get removed. You can use an emoji in place of the underscore, though.

Might I suggest “me☝️irl” ?