So I’ve come to a realization after about a couple decades of stress and shit that I probably have adhd. Obviously I don’t want to for sure since I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I’m literally yelling at myself to do stuff and can’t stay focussed on basically anything, and get extremely overwhelmed via information overload, etc. It’s a good idea to get checked out.
But…I don’t want the medicine. I don’t know why but I dont like the idea of it. I take other medications, heartburn meds, cold medicine, vaccines, etc. But I dont like shit messing with my head. I don’t even drink coffee (and I don’t drink or smoke either. Hell, im even reluctant to take painkillers) It causes such anxiety in me, I don’t exactly know why either. But the me who is shit and can’t focus and whatever is all I’ve known. I dont want to be someone else because I took a little pill filled with chemicals. It’s stupid. I know its stupid. If this was someone else talking to me I’d be saying “well You’d improve yourself and you’re just making yourself focus like a normal prrson.” But I have such a fear of…of whatever I fear. I don’t understand.
I had similar anxieties/worries when I got my diagnosis. I was determined that I wouldn’t get medication after a diagnosis. But part of the diagnosis process was taking aderall and measuring how it affects me. I felt so calm for the first time ever, and realised that it’s not like caffeine/alcohol/weed at all. It significantly improves my life and I just can’t ignore that and live a much more difficult one when there’s an easy fix with almost no side effects (in my case).
After getting medicated my uni results went up, my sleep problems got manageable and I finally got myself to clean my room regularly. It’s different for everyone though, some people don’t find any benefits from medication.
In the end it’s your choice and if you don’t want to try it that’s totally fine. I thought I’d share my perspective.