Just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. I’m a 30yo M and I didn’t really speak English properly until I was about 14 years old. By that time, teachers just assumed I’m an asshole or being intentionally difficult. When I was younger, teachers told my parents I was likely ADHD and that they should take me to a healthcare processional, but being Hispanic in the early 2000s, to my parents, that was akin to calling me mentally disabled, so they just told me there was nothing wrong with me and that I just needed to apply myself.
I’ve went to primary care doctors over the last few years and described my symptoms, high peaks and long valleys when it comes to my mood and energy and my inability to focus. Unfortunately, I think I’ve been masking for so long that everyone I talk to about this assumes I’m depressed. Even took some depression meds for a while, gave it an honest try and couldn’t stand the side effects.
Not sure if I should just resign myself to this reality. I’ve failed upwards enough through enough very painful trial and error to land myself a solid career, but my energy and motivation is getting really hard to manage, despite the fact that I’m doing everything I can to live a healthy lifestyle(exercise daily, good sleep, etc)
Going through all that sounds exhausting… But, among all the other shit i already need to do, i should probably do it.
Is it worth it?
1 step at a time. The uphill battle is exhausting, but each small step makes the next a little easier. Plus, no one said you have to climb all the way up the hill in one go. Pause and build up energy every once in a while.
If i had advice for my previous self, itd be that going to a psychiatrist has been really helpful. they focus on 1 thing: meds. I wish I’d done that sooner tbh. Im seeing one who has their own part time practice since they’ve recently become certified, so its been nice having communication that isnt filtered through an office or comprehensive services offering (that isn’t to say there aren’t downsides in availability and responsiveness). i found them through word of mouth, which helped me get past the doom scrolling of the insurance lists.
I used some more ADHD specific/exclusive services for the few years prior and while it was a good start, it was only a partial solution and it was deeply impersonal.
I appreciate your input. Thank you.