• baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 days ago

    Some people just don’t have the capability to hold back, and I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to have their side lose an argument on principle just like that, especially if they do actually face an injustice. In petty drama like relationship issues there are techniques of coaxing the underlying problem out of people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to articulate themselves, for example nonviolent communication. Its main system is that you find out via targeted questioning what emotions you’re feeling, and which needs (satisfied or unsatisfied) contribute to those feelings (loneliness, sadness, frustration <- the need for human connection is unsatisfied), and why those needs are in the state they are (for example your partner has paid a little less attention to you because work recently became more stressful, or the current political climate is stressful). After figuring out the root causes you do some brainstorming to figure out targeted solutions, and often you can find solutions that satisfy everybody’s needs. The key to it is its unique way of communicating with each other, which takes effort but is often exactly what you need. And as I mentioned, it often has a magical effect on people who somehow just can’t seem to solve their own problems, usually due to chronic miscommunication. It’s definitely a learned skill, but it helps a ton. 10/10 would recommend.