TLDR: What is ADHD medication supposed to feel like? Is it supposed to feel like anything at all? Will someone with ADHD feel really gacked out/high? does it change based on food intake or other factors?

So I received an unofficial diagnosis from my AuDHD psychologist a while ago, and then my psychiatrist did a very short written assessment on me and determined a positive diagnosis. I really want to get a full assessment one day, but for now I was prescribed Focalin (dexmethylphenidate). I originally wanted it as a prn.

The first time I took it, I definitely felt “peppy”, needing to stand while gaming, needing to move around more frequently, generally more awake. I didn’t eat breakfast, and had coffee. My blood pressure was also very high. Within a couple of days I took it again, but being good and eating in the morning with no coffee. I couldn’t even tell if it was working. I may have taken it another time soon after and did not notice a difference, so I stopped taking it. I’ve been extremely fatigued and my executive dysfunction has been off the charts so I tried taking it again. Yesterday I didn’t eat right away, and I felt gacked. Tight jaw, jittery, like definitely felt like I was on stimulants. I felt like that today as well; I tried to eat a little something this morning but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. It kicked in during a client appointment, too. Jaw tight, jittery, making a ton of typing mistakes, my body feeling fuzzy.

So, is it something where you should be able to notice a difference when you take ADHD meds? I’m assuming that I felt it so intensely because I didn’t eat, but when I do it it literally doesn’t feel like anything has changed. I may also not even have ADHD at all and was misdiagnosed (I was informally dx’ed with ADHD, Autism and bipolar disorder).

  • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Alright, as promised here’s part two of my reply:

    Diet

    Your diet is important to focus on as an ADHDer, especially if you’re noticing that you are skipping meals due to the stimulants reducing your appetite.

    Make sure that you’re hitting your daily protein intake consistently. Proteins are made of amino acids and amino acids are the building blocks for neurotransmitters.

    If you aren’t getting enough protein in your diet then, over time, you’ll find that the meds won’t be working effectively because your brain is running on an empty tank, neurotransmitter-wise.

    (If you switch to amphetamine-based medication, keep in mind that acidic foods/drinks will inhibit the absorption of the meds and things like vitamin C acidify your urine which will cause the amphetamine in your system to crash.)

    Burnout

    Burnout is a heck of a thing. Note that this section is going to be primarily personal anecdotes and based on other people’s reports.

    When you’re talking stimulant meds while burnt out, it’s important not to push yourself too hard. Having stimulants on board means that you’re going to be much more likely to be able to push through but doing this can deepen the burnout and prolong it. No bueno.

    It’s really tricky to puzzle out the effects of burnout. There are days when I feel like my meds are doing literally nothing and that’s a reflection of my baseline level of burnout.

    Let’s take sleep deprivation as an analogy here:

    If you are sleep-deprived, stimulants will help your cognitive function however they aren’t ever going to fully compensate for the sleep deprivation. It’ll probably help to some extent but if you’re seriously sleep deprived then there’s no amount of stimulants that will resolve the underlying cognitive impairment.

    Burnout is similar to this in a lot of respects (as are other factors like depression.)

    Ultimately, your ADHD symptoms will be worsened if you are in burnout and the effectiveness of stimulant meds will definitely feel as though they fluctuate, or they might not have a noticeable effect at all, until you’re out of burnout/you have made significant strides towards recovering from burnout.

    Autism in relation to ADHD

    Autistic ADHDers tend to be more sensitive to stimulant meds than pure ADHDers, from people’s reports.

    Autistic ADHDers often report “the autism” coming out more when appropriately medicated. I think this can be attributed to a lot of things but if your ADHD is unmedicated then it’s easier to be oblivious to your autistic traits; you’re much less capable of keeping track of the score, so those social faux pas you make are much more likely to slip by your recognition and your memory but when you’re medicated it’s the inverse. If your brain is in a constant flurry, bouncing from one thing to the next, or if you are constantly vagueing out because of inattentiveness, then being appropriately medicated will suddenly allow you to focus in on your special interests and you’ll be better able to sustain your focus which can make you feel “more autistic”. A lot of ADHDers, especially unmedicated ones, use social interaction as a way to milk dopamine out of life but when you are medicated that urge for seeking out novelty and social interaction will be reduced and this can manifest as being more inwardly focused and socially withdrawn, which can feel like your autistic traits are being amplified. Often AuDHDers stim more and they can have heightened sensory sensitivity when on stimulant meds too.

    I have other half-finished thoughts about the AuDHD experience but I’m struggling today.

    I think that a pure ADHD experience of appropriate medication is one where a lot of the worst symptoms are alleviated and their general function is markedly improved.

    The AuDHD experience is more complex, broadly speaking, and the experience of being medicated for ADHD is generally not as stark a contrast because there are a lot of reasons why autistic folks struggle with stuff like executive dysfunction and task initiation. With regards to task initiation some of the confounding factors are autistic inertia, difficulty with task switching, and perseveration and these can be underlying causes for difficulty with task initiation. What this means is that treating the ADHD with meds doesn’t necessarily result in a huge shift in how much difficulty an AuDHDer has with task initiation compared to the experience of an ADHDer who isn’t autistic.

    Anyway, this turned out to be more of a ramble and it was less structured than I would have liked but I hope it’s helpful to you all the same.

    • the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Omg, your second paragraph in the “Autism in Relation to ADHD” section was really, really incredibly eye-opening for me and made sense of some medication issues/dissatisfaction I was having. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out, this was super helpful to me. ❤️

    • iie [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      this bit about autism is also really interesting to me. I have no autism diagnosis, but I feel like I have maybe half the symptoms people mention, and I relate to this paragraph a lot.

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      Wow, your responses were awesome, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness! Sorry for taking a while to respond, all of the helpful replies were kinda overwhelming and I wanted to just reply to everyone all at once (lol).

      I really resonated with your point about how autism and ADHD interact, and how being medicated for ADHD can “exacerbate” autistic traits. I have always attributed my mental health struggles to C-PTSD as I’ve experienced pretty intense childhood trauma as well as ongoing trauma. I then was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and officially/unofficially diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. In my mid 20’s, I think more sensory sensitivities started cropping up. I remember for a few years, I always felt very dirty; my skin just felt dirty, like I could feel all of the oils on my hands and face and it was really distressing. How I talked about it was that it was the opposite of dissociating; that maybe being triggered cause me to be extra-inside my body. Could never figure that one out, therapists were so confused. Then with my bipolar diagnosis, I got medicated, and my mood is more stable (for the most part) but now my stimming, infodumping, sensory issues, distractedness, and extreme social anxiety seem to be more intense. So it all unravels but then becomes more complicated, lol.

      Also, I believe that I am in a state of extreme burnout. I explained it a bit in another comment, but my burn outs last for months; I feel like it’s been at least a year that I’ve felt this way. It’s not just that at work I’m irritable and curmudgeony, I am just too exhausted to even entertain doing any of the things that make me happy. The thought of riding my bike or hanging with a friend is painful to think about. Also the inertia piece has been increasingly difficult to contend with; I think I noticed it getting bad around 8 years ago and it seems to not be letting up at all.

      I think the biggest thing that I hope for with ADHD meds is being able to muster the motivation to do things I enjoy without them feeling like a chore, focus, and keep routines. I hope that, if I do in fact experience ADHD, that something will work because I feel like I can’t go on like this

  • ReadFanon [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    So you’re familiar with stimulant usage which means that it’s going to colour your experience somewhat.

    Generally when people first start on a stimulant, there’s a short term experience of mild euphoria that people who are naive to stimulants don’t really have a frame of reference to understand it by but that typically passes within a couple of days and I’d say at the most a week.

    A pure ADHD experience of first going onto stimulants is going to vary depending on the person, their neurochemical makeup, and their response to whichever meds they get put on but AuDHD definitely complicates the experience imo. (FWIW I’m an AuDHDer on stimulant meds who has gone through nearly the entire gamut of meds prescribed for ADHD and I have a grasp of psychopharmacology, so feel free to pick my brains if you like.)

    The typical experience of stimulant meds for a pure ADHDer is typically one where the person feels some brief, mild euphoria but the predominant experiences are:

    • Clarity of thought
    • Feeling as though your thoughts are more orderly and organised
    • Increased ability for task initiation*
    • Improved executive function
    • Feeling like you’re better able to “get through the day”
    • Improved impulse control
    • Typically, less “dopamine-chasing” behaviours and less compulsion for behavioural addictions (e.g. impulse buying, binge eating etc.)
    • Reduced emotional reactivity

    Typical side effects are:

    • Decreased appetite
    • Increased heart rate
    • Mild insomnia
    • Increased anxiety

    Typically if you are on a stable dose for about a week, your side effects will settle down.

    With this in mind, I would recommend staying on a stable dose for at least a week, taking it at a regular time each day, before you start forming your opinions of methylphenidate (unless the side effects are unmanageable.)

    *Improved task initiation is a bit of a tricky thing to define the experience of and to identify in yourself, especially if you are late diagnosed and/or burnt out. I’ll elaborate at the end of the comment.

    I’m particularly sensitive to the norepinephrinergic effects of meds, and the first-line stimulants are quite strong in this respect. I had to cut out caffeine because in combination with stimulants it was causing me too many anxiety-related side effects.

    Without caffeine it’s much more manageable and I feel less gacked.

    Taking stimulants on an empty stomach is not a good idea. Try to have something with protein in it and maybe eat before you take your stimulants, if possible. If not, smoothies or protein shakes are your friend.

    According to Russell Barkley, one of the foremost experts in ADHD, methylphenidate works for about 40% of ADHDers and amphetqamine-based stimulants work for about another 40% of ADHDers (which sounds astoundingly low but that success rate is the envy of other psychiatric meds). What this means is that there’s a decent chance that methylphenidate might not be the right one for you and that’s okay. With this in mind, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about your ADHD status based on your initial experience of only one medication.

    Within a couple of days I took it again, but being good and eating in the morning with no coffee. I couldn’t even tell if it was working. I may have taken it another time soon after and did not notice a difference, so I stopped taking it.

    Often the experience of stimulants meds, when they’re at the right dose, is quite subtle and you may not notice the impacts it has on your behaviour but the people around you might notice improvements or you might find that there are less dishes piling up in the sink and that you’re going to the gym more consistently etc.

    As for task initiation, there’s often a sort of lag or a “stickiness” to this for a late-diagnosed ADHDer. (If you are burnt out this is a confounding factor too.) Essentially, as an ADHDer, you have probably had to drag yourself through doing the tasks you hate and you’ve almost certainly built up a serious, deep-seated negative association because of a lack of dopamine. ADHD meds help with the lack of dopamine and they make starting on tasks easier however you should expect that it will be a long-term process of shifting your attitude towards those tasks that you particularly struggle with or dislike. You should find that it’s easier to get started on those tasks and that you’re more capable of seeing them through to the end however if the cumulative effect of literally forcing yourself to do these tasks over years and years is negative then there’s going to be a significant adjustment period because your psychology won’t just magically adjust instantaneously, despite your brain chemistry making things easier for you.

    What this looks like in practice might be that you are still really resistant or reluctant to start on those undesirable tasks and so you continue to put them off as you did prior to being medicated but if you set your mind to it, you should find that doing those tasks feels much easier than you expected.

    I’ll reply in another comment about how AuDHDers tend to experience stimulant meds and how burnout and diet have an impact on what the meds do once I can muster the brainpower.

    • iie [they/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      thanks for this writeup

      As for task initiation, there’s often a sort of lag or a “stickiness” to this for a late-diagnosed ADHDer. (If you are burnt out this is a confounding factor too.) Essentially, as an ADHDer, you have probably had to drag yourself through doing the tasks you hate and you’ve almost certainly built up a serious, deep-seated negative association because of a lack of dopamine. ADHD meds help with the lack of dopamine and they make starting on tasks easier however you should expect that it will be a long-term process of shifting your attitude towards those tasks that you particularly struggle with or dislike. You should find that it’s easier to get started on those tasks and that you’re more capable of seeing them through to the end however if the cumulative effect of literally forcing yourself to do these tasks over years and years is negative then there’s going to be a significant adjustment period because your psychology won’t just magically adjust instantaneously, despite your brain chemistry making things easier for you.

      What this looks like in practice might be that you are still really resistant or reluctant to start on those undesirable tasks and so you continue to put them off as you did prior to being medicated but if you set your mind to it, you should find that doing those tasks feels much easier than you expected.

      this bit especially

      I tend to not take my meds enough because of some vague paranoia about tolerance and needing ever higher doses to function, but I think I’ve swung way too far in the other direction, and after years of undermedicating I think this task initiation issue has crept back into my life, and probably never fully left.

  • The amount of habits and ability to manage stuff that comes with taking adhd is kind of ironic considering what having adhd is like.

    I personally am hesitant to even try, late self-dx audhd who can’t really access even the diagnosis due to gender and the way neurodiversity is viewed for women. I know I embody the classic meme level audhd inattentive woman.

    My child also didn’t have a great experience trying to fit in the neurotypical world with meds, I suppose this is a part of what made both of us go full in on communism. Having to suffer highs and lows and physical symptoms just to fit in the capitalist model of high performing citizens just sits wrong with me now.

    But if there were less high stakes and more easily available options to try I am not saying it wouldn’t be nice to not burn out from everyday life. Just ended a 6 month work period and have now slept for a week straight and still eternally tired and down. I know why now, but it’s still not amazing. We can’t really choose to not take part either because we all need to eat and have housing.

    What we did with my son was we got protein shakes and powders to have the easiest most accessible way to nutrients while he was medicated, it worked mostly (not always). It can get a bit expensive though, I know I struggled with buying those for every morning, but otherwise he would not eat at all, hates breakfast. In the end he decided to just be adhd and be supported in other ways for now, the demands on habits to be able to medicate were something he just couldn’t get done.

    It did help him focus at school, but he told me later he also had some palpitations and heart things with them that he ignored as he wanted so much for the meds to “fix him”. He said he never really felt anything as such, but his mood did get less predictable and one of the meds made him dangerously depressed. But that can happen, something else might have been a better fit.

    But afaik there was no “high” apart from mood changing a bit after he had been on them longer. Appetite he did struggle with as he already often forgets to eat. Same with hydration.

    It’s a pretty big task to take on and navigate, all the solidarity for you in your journey

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      lollll yep, telling someone with intense executive dysfunction to eat every morning and take a pill at the same time every day is hilarious to me. I’m thinking I may need a different medication to try, or maybe I’m just autistic with really intense demand avoidance lol. I’m glad your son has found some ways to navigate the world that work for him!

      Have you tried to look at adult dx? I’m an afab person, and I was lucky to have a non binary psychologist who started to slowly introduce me to the idea of being neurodivergent after a long while of working together. I’d never even thought of it otherwise due to stereotypes. I also haven’t tried to go down the full assessment rabbit hole but definitely wonder what it would look like since I’m coded as a woman.

      I’m sorry that you’re in a period of burnout; it feels so horrible and I think is a big reason that I think I’m autistic. When I feel burnt out from work, or the task of being social, etc. I just feel burnt out on EVERYTHING. Hanging with friends is a chore. Riding my bike is a chore. Gardening is a chore. Reading is a chore. Anything that I think of that I like to do and should help ground me sounds so overwhelming and scary and anxiety inducing to think about even. Sometimes forcing myself does help, but other times I am just so glad that the ordeal is over. My cognitive acuity has declined, the ability to articulate myself clearly, too. It’s so shitty to feel that way. But yeah, maybe if we didn’t have to fucking slave away all day, and be able to focus on rest and doing what we love, burnout may not exist in the way that regular folk experience it, as well as ND folk. Big hugs to you and I hope

      meow-hug

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      Thanks for sharing the experience! Honestly while researching it it seems like focalin is extremely hit or miss and the misses seem very intense; and is much more typical than reading about it being a super helpful drug. I think I’m feeling the same about anxiety/concentration. I have been absolutely refusing to do any work and just talking to my coworkers all day long. I normally fuck around but will have at least a couple hour chunks where I TRY to get things done but with this, nope. Luckily I haven’t had any extreme side effects. I feel like when I took adderall recreationally years ago that actually did help me focus. I only did it twice, but the first time I was focused on drawing and coloring this one image and I didn’t stop until the page was completely colored in and didn’t get distracted lol. But I did admit that i’d done it twice recreationally, so that may have influenced his decision to not give it to me, idk. I know the shortage was in full swing, too, not sure if that’s still going on

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    This sounds like either too high a dose or the wrong drug for you. I used Ritalin for years and then Concerta, which is a slow-release version. It fucked with my sleep and appetite and mood too much. So now I’m on Strattera, which is a non-stimulant. It helps me concentrate and I otherwise don’t really notice any effects. I’m also AuDHD instead of just ADHD, so that probably makes a difference too.

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      That’s what I’m thinking; it was just odd that the times when I took it with food I didn’t feel it at all, whereas even eating as much as I could stomach this morning I still felt all over the place. The exaggerated differences in what I feel is what is kinda weirding me out. I also really want to do actual in depth assessments for both autism and adhd because their symptoms overlap so much. I trust my ND psychologist but I still don’t know if ADHD is part of the equation :/ if I work up the nerve to go back to my psychiatrist I may see about switching.

  • penitentkulak [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Took a few basic pharmacokinetics classes in uni but far from an expert. Food intake and drug uptake into the body can be very closely related, does the medication say anything about taking with food? Low amounts of food in the stomach can lead to quick absorption into the body, maybe that’s why you are having the jittery effects? Note that food and certain types of food can also increase absorption into the body, but that doesn’t seem to apply here. Some food/drug interactions only change the rate at which the drug is absorbed, others change the total amount.

    I’d also recommend taking a dose as consistently as possible and not on/off because even when you’re not feeling effects directly there is still drugs in your system and might still be providing pharmaceutical benefits. You’re trying to keep that drug serum level within the range between “not having any actual effect” (too long between doses) and “jittery stimulant feeling.” (taking too high of a dose on an empty stomach perhaps?)

    Drugs are usually designed/prescribed so that taking it at the prescribed schedule will keep you in that range, some are better than others at this, even in the same class of drugs. If you keep getting that jittery feeling even with consistent dosing I’d talk to your doctor about trying something else.

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      It doesn’t say to take with food but I assume that with most stimulants you should. It’s just extremely hard for me to eat in the mornings, or often at all anymore. I did eat more today but I was still super distracted and avoiding all of my work lol.

      I think I’m going to try to keep on it for another week or so and see if it evens out. What was puzzling to me is that I’m on day 4, and it’s been very consistently intense, when before when I’d take it on and off, sometimes I wouldn’t feel it at all, and others I would; it seemed unpredictable. I’ve also been at the office every day, whereas before I think most of the time I was working from home so maybe the environment is making a difference? Hmmmm curious-marx

  • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    I don’t feel anything at all, as in like, I don’t feel high, or jittery or anything like that. I feel “normal.” I do, however, feel completely different than when I don’t take it, like, my actual “normal” which is completely lethargic, brainfogged, unable to focus in on something enough to make a decision or complete at task. It doesn’t effect my eating at all, but I basically eat because I enjoy the sensation of eating food, and not because I’m hungry anyways, lol.

    It sounds like maybe you are on too high of a dose? Idk though. I’d talk to you psychologist about that.

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      thanks for the response. I have a friend who says he will feel jacked if he skips days when taking it, but I’m wondering if that depends on the prescription you have?

      • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        Probably does, yeah. These meds can effect different people differently, but also there are different ADHD meds that are all a little different. And different doses. I take Adderall. 60mg of extended release in the morning, then 20mg of instant at noon

  • Nagarjuna [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    You’re either not adhd or on too high a dose.

    The main effect for me is just feeling space between my thoughts, being able to grab them, choose which ones to keep and which ones to throw away. It makes it easier to line up a coherent series of thoughts.

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      Yep, that hasn’t been my experience. It’s day 4 of taking them consecutively; I ate more in the morning and I feel like that helped but I was still way more interested in talking to coworkers than focusin on anything. I’m extremely burnt out and VERY VERY resistant to staying on task regardless of taking meds. I definitely feel wired, but I feel like I"m just doing what I would do regardless, just more alert. When you very first started did you have an adjustment period at all or it kinda just clicked in the way you’re describing?

        • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          10 months ago

          yeah, I’m not seeing that with this stuff. I have also read a lot of shitty experiences with this specific drug though so I’m gonna keep trying and then see if I can switch to something else. I get super jealous of reading people’s accounts being like “my meds changed my life I could focus and get things done and now I exercise 6 days a week and I’m on time for work and I love hanging out with my friends!!!” like, gimme that ;~; I am glad for you and them but still

            • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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              10 months ago

              Totally. Today is day 5 and I’ll give it a bit longer but may just see if I can switch. I just wanna be motivated to do anything at all again!

  • GhostofLeninsGhost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    ADHD meds can take some getting used to, and funnily enough, routine helps you to level out how they cause you to feel.

    There are a lot of different meds, and some might work better for you than others.

    If it’s alright to ask, what were your prescribed?

    • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      That makes sense. I was prescribed focalin, I’d never heard of it before and I haven’t tried others except for once or twice I tried Adderall recreationally

      • GhostofLeninsGhost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        I’d say give it a bit longer, see how you feel on it. If possible, keep some notes.

        If your doctor is worth their salt, you should have a follow-up with them soon. Bring your notes with you and discuss how you’ve felt and whether a different medication might work better if this one isn’t doing what you and they are expecting.

        • ratboy [they/them]@hexbear.netOP
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          10 months ago

          I think I’m going to try for another week or so to see how it goes. Taking notes is probably a really good idea. I think my last appointment with my psychiatrist I cancelled and never followed up with lol. I think he is really good with diagnosing mood disorders and such, but not as skilled with neurodivergence, so we were just going to experiment, I think. I really wish I could find something to take as a prn though. I remember taking Adderall recreationally once or twice and I think I remember that helping me to hyperfocus lol. But it’s been so long and no one wants to prescribe that to someone with a drug history (even though I don’t like stimulants!).