The goal of this post is to function as a vent post. Tell us what’s on your mind, yell, post pics, do whatever to clear your mind.
So yesterday my father in law and I went to this lake for a morning swim. It was 8 degrees celsius (46F) outside, the water was probably of a similar temperature. There were a few fishermen walking around in special wetsuits as to not get hypothermia and they were staring in disbelief at two guys walking into the water in underwear.
It was cold as fuck to the point that the cold water did nothing but hurt my skin. I swam for around ten minutes I think and the entire time I kept thinking: why would anyone do this? Why do humans feel the need to go to great lengths to do stupid shit like this? Surely it has to be more than just adrenaline.
Did I enjoy swimming in cold water? I don’t know. It made feel alive-ish. Would I do it again? It does have a certain lure to it.
It did make me think about people bragging about ‘suffering’. For example, my gf and I want to try to keep the heating off until at least the 21st of December, because shit is expensive yo. But when someone mentions that they already have the heating on, I start feeling proud of myself in a way. Because I don’t have the heating on yet, and I’m fine. Money is not even what I think about then, just that I am able to tolerate more cold or something stupid like that. I have no idea why I do that. It’s completely in line with my ideology and party work. But it still happens. Why do humans do this?
Also: FUCK CAPITALISM
I feel you on the accommodation. I’m a very patient listener (I think) and people often like to unload their problems onto me at work or elsewhere. I can be peoples’ shoulder to cry on, but only for so long. That accomodation seemingly lends itself to people dehumanizing me as an individual with their own issues they may like to vent about or their own interests, and picturing me more as simply their vent-wall. It’s a weird, unpleasant feeling.
People are incredibly selfish. I’ve had multiple people in my personal life vent to me about their struggles, which is definitely fine.
But if I ever want to do the same to them, they want no part of it. I’ve literally been told ‘im sorry, I can’t listen to your problems’ by multiple people that have told me about their problems before. It’s actually very common.
I think most people here are literally narcissists.
Absolutely lol. Something absolutely incredible to hear, after having listened to someone vent their frustrations for hours IRL, is that they don’t have the “spoons” to listen to me talk about myself whatsoever. We can be expected to be the savior when loved ones (or even strangers) are having a mental break, but the moment our own issues shine through suddenly it becomes a burden. I might be projecting my experience onto you here, but hell it does get tiresome.
I’ve actually had the exact same experience multiple times from multiple people. People are so hypocritical it almost seems like a mental illness.
When they say they don’t have the spoons, they’re referring to Spoon Theory, which is a way for people with various chronic conditions to visualize the amount of energy they have using spoons. Essentially, you start with a certain amount of spoons which represent energy. Every time you do something, some amount of those spoons are subtracted, based on how much energy the task takes. Once you run out of spoons, you have to either rest to regain them or “borrow” from the next day, which means you will start with less the next day.
However, if I ever vented my problems to someone, I would feel really bad if I didn’t let them do the same to me. Personally, I’d rather have less energy the next day than be so selfish as to prevent people from venting to me, especially after I did the same to them.
Yes, I like the spoon theory conceptually and have used it for myself in the past (physical and mental), though I’ve found its real-use value, in my own personal life, to skew mainly in the direction of manipulative people utilizing it as a sort of transactional cop-out to escape from emotional reciprocation or as a means of emotional control. Not to say it’s worthless or anything, like I said I’ve used it, but more and more in my own relationships it’s become the sort of thing that people get to levy against me, and I never get to utilize at all lest I get accused of being manipulative. Does that make any sense? I think I just need better friends lol.
Yeah, I’ve known those kinds of people. They expect you to sacrifice everything but never do anything in return and get angry if you call it out, accusing you of being selfish. I really despise that kind of behavior.
I’ve discovered at least 3 textbooks narcissists in my life recently (new friend, new roommate (gone now, he was illegal so we were tryna help out ya know), and father in law). Definitely wary of how common these traits are.