Pretty much the title of the post. I started watching porn at a very young age (12 I think) and stuck with it for 13 years. Without retelling my entire life story, porn is the only sexual outlet I have.
I wanted to quit for a while now due to ethical (I don’t think I have to elaborate how fucked up the porn industry is to anyone here) and psychological reasons but so far it always ends in me quitting for a few days and then returning.
I want to stop, I can’t call myself a communist while engaging with something that is so vile and opposed to communist principles but I don’t know how to change my habits in a way that allows me to permanently quit and satisfy my urges in a different way.
Try going the opposite direction that most porn addictions develop. Usually it goes something like text or fully clothed models>nude models/softcore porn>hardcore porn>extremely niche fetishes. Well, cut out the rightmost items first, and move your way back.
Another important aspect of the addiction is constant novelty. Instead of browsing for new videos, try to limit yourself to the same ones.
But perhaps the most important thing is to replace the addition with something else. What draws you to porn? Unmet sexual desires? Stress? Boredom? See if there are any underlying problems and try to address them via other means, such as better communication with partner(s), picking up hobbies, or changing work habits.
And in my opinion, I don’t think there’s much wrong with consuming sexually stimulating content occasionally, as long as it doesn’t involve real people or become an addiction - so things like erotic fiction, drawings, etc. I like to play erotic visual novels with my partner, personally. But that’s a discussion for once you’ve determined if there are any underlying issues causing your addiction in the first place.
Pretty much this. I had a very traumatic time during high school and while most boys my age had their first experiences with girls I didn’t. I was relentlessly bullied by the girls in my class and it took me years after I left this school to realise how much they fucked me up. I am 25 by now and it is still very hard for me to reach out to people that are not in my circle of friends. I struggle with stuff like going to parties and usually suffer panic attacks when I try to. I am slowly getting better but so far I never had a gf or any sexual experiences. Porn is the only way for me to even remotely grasp what sex could be like.
I went through a very similar experience. I had zero self confidence, shy, had a stutter, poor style, was a visible minority in a non-diverse area, nerdy interests, you name it. Convinced I was going to die alone. Felt like there was no point in asking anyone out because nobody showed interest. I started dressing better and updated my hairstyle, which helped my confidence. I was always pretty athletic, but this might be something you can work on. To this day I’m still pretty shy, so I turned to online dating. Casually dated about 5 people before meeting my current girlfriend of 5+ years. For me, the #1 game changer was actually asking people out (online in my case). I tried to follow the common internet advice of “just be confident brah” or “stop looking for a relationship and it will come,” but that was actually the opposite of what I needed to hear - I needed to actually start trying, however I could, even if I wasn’t confident enough to make moves in person.
Let me tell you though, having a partner will not cure your porn addiction (though it might help). Real sex is not nearly as glamorous as porn. It’s almost a different experience altogether.
Wow we really are similar. During school I didn’t care about my looks. As far as I was concerned the girls at school were horrible anyway and so the only thing I cared about was dreading going to school and running back home to play videogames.
I changed quite a lot since then, I do care a lot more about my appereance than I used to and I think it is at a point where it is detremental again. I always carry hairproduct, combs and brushes, fragarance and a manicure kit around in my backpack. I am also working out and while I can see the first changes to my body I think I am still at least two years off before I reach anything admirable. Beyond that I am ultra self concious to the point were I feel extremly uncomfortable if I notice that my hair isn’t perfect for example. I don’t feel attractive or pretty at all and more or less feel like I have to give it 110% to even pass as a human.
Online dating isn’t really working for me. I used multiple dating apps daily for a few months and ended with 1 match who replied more than once but stopped responding before we could talk about meeting. I don’t know if my profile is the problem or if I am too ugly for online dating but it certainly isn’t helping my psyche seeing so many beautiful people only to fail to attract anyone. I thought about hiring somebody to help me with my profile and picturers but so far I haven’t found anything that looks trustworthy and isn’t just a thinly veiled scam or some toxic pick up artist bs.
I also had very unruly hair that needed constant touchups haha. In the last year or so I switched to a lower maintenance style.
It helps to just get a friend or two to look over your profile. You don’t need to pay anybody. I also had a friend who did photography as a hobby to help take a few shots.
Fuck I feel this so much, although I also have the added difficulty of gender dysphoria