I am an aspiring game creator and love experimenting with graphic design and accessibility, this is my latest project and am thinking of expanding it to a full booklet. Inspired by Dying Earth and others!
You need to change formatting to Align Left: the random spaces between words make it hard to read.
I’ll definitely need to clean it up, worked on it in a rush to get what was in my head to paper. Thanks for the feedback!
Trifold RPG. Brilliant. Next holiday goal determined.
In combat table “H” is ambiguous. It equals hand and head
Oops! I’ll change that.
I like the vibe, the layout, and the narrators voice. Some comments/questions.
You define “p100” but don’t explain that you will need other dice (or random generation).e.g. Astrologer says it “adds P5 charges” but doesn’t tell you what P5 means.
The weapons table introduced short/medium/long range (I assume!) But those ranges don’t seem to matter in the combat section. “AP”, “2H”, and “MR” aren’t defined. I am guessing Armor Points, Two handed, and Melee/Ranged.
What is the maximum charge capacity of Glass Stars? How do they gain levels, or is it the player who is gaining levels somehow?
The Rubine star can heal deep wounds. Which are those?
Only using the tens place of scores for combat suggests to me that switching to a d10 system instead of d100 may simplify the rules and play without losing much.
Overall I think it’s pretty cool. It needs more detail to make a playable game out of it, I think, or some editing and rules redesign to keep it a two-pager.
Excellent feedback, it’s incredible how much falls through the cracks without proper playtesting and dilligent proofreading. It’s clear I’ll need to find a balance that allows for rules and flavor to mix this way.
Here are my thought processes for your questions, which I will clarify and fix in the next passthrough:
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In my head, defining “p” as polyhedral seemed sufficient to let the player know they need a d100, which can be used as a d10 or d5, but that definitely needs clarification.
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Your assumptions are all correct, which is what I was hoping for the player to do, but that’s not very rules friendly! I struggled on this page to fit what I needed and will have to retool this… Along with armor which is very barebones. This part was definitely rushed to page.
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The maximum charges should be determined on find, and the astrologer can increase that maximum. I’ll have to make that clear. The player gains levels, and is only mentioned once in the class section. I need to add a caveat that 90 is the maximum for each ability score.
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Oops. Another blunder there.
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I like the 100 system for the granularity, as you are working to build up a particular skill to advance to the next “tier”, but I’ll have to see how it fares in play.
Thank you so much again, the two hours of work really show in these mistakes and I’ll need to correct them.
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This is really cool! I like the first person perspective: very flavorful, makes the rules fun to read.
Fun, flavourful, but really frustrating to interpret into actual game mechanism.
Leave the first person for the flavour text, please, and just clearly explain the game mechanisms in the rules proper.
Thank you! I had to make a lot of concessions, and I notice a few errors because I’m so used to the rules speaking to the player, but it was fun. Quite weird however. Some things I want to add is a map, a character sheet, a few common enemies, treasure, and maybe a table of goals/quests that get harder depending on your average ability score.
