I’m not the best communicator while not distracted to begin with. Often struggling to verbalize a thought or find a word I can’t remember for some reason. If I am focused on talking, though, I can usually get by well enough and even be a bit witty, especially if its not face-to-face communication. However, if I’m doing something else, like doing something with my hands at work, and someone tries to talk to me, I stumble over what I’m saying quite a lot. Banter is nearly impossible. I can normally have a bit of back and forth with someone and throw some funny quips in, but in these situations I just end up saying something stupid and often taking things too literally, only to immediately internally regret my choice of words as I properly process the conversation in the next moment.
I think it’s because conversation takes a good bit of processing power for me to have flow “naturally”. Any sort of distraction diverts some of that processing power and impedes my conversational ability. It can be pretty frustrating since everyone seems to want to talk while working and it just doesn’t work for me.
Do any of you share a similar experience? If so, how do you deal with it?
I remember in school being asked to read aloud, then comment on what I read. Teachers were confused when I needed to read it again silently for comprehension. I could execute the performative task of reading the text aloud, or the cognitive task of reading for understanding, but not both simultaneously.
I was so embarrassed to realize that not everyone was like that.
I find that I can let people know my limitations aloud and they are pretty understanding. Working out the correct phrase can help a lot.
That reminds me that teachers seem to be under the impression that you learn stuff by copying what they write on the board. That is a completely mindless task though that doesn’t teach you anything, especially if it causes you to miss what the teacher is saying about it because you can not see through the teacher so you are necessarily a bit behind on copying.
I remember in school being asked to read aloud, then comment on what I read. Teachers were confused when I needed to read it again silently for comprehension.
OH.MY.GOD!! I thought I was the only one! I have the exact same thing. If I read something out loud, I will have no idea what I read. I have to read it silently to understand it.
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Hey if people wanna play with their lives by talking to me while I’m driving… 😂 That’s when I look straight at another car coming onto the intersection and drive straight ahead because I saw it, but that didn’t mean it also registered.
My SO hates driving, so I drive us everywhere, they also love conversing. I keep trying to explain why this isn’t compatible… at least now they keep track of where we are more often and let me know when I’m going to miss my turn. I won’t talk and drive without my ADHD meds though, way to dangerous…
Definitely. When I am doing one thing and start talking also the talking is semi-stream of consciousness. But when I ‘check in’ on what I’m saying I find it’s mostly just the same two things being repeated but like in different orders. Kind of a word salad with purpose behind it. Though it works better when I can talk and then do the other thing without having to think about the other thing.
I’d suggest if you need to have a thoughtful conversation and put in more processing focus on the convo and stop the other stuff you’re doing. If you feel that’s not possible, stopping the other stuff, maybe try to tell the person that you can give them a minute and you have to get back to your other thing. Obviously works better with people you have talked about this with before.
I don’t have trouble listening to someone while doing something else, but speaking is a different problem. Then again, I’m quite bad in multitasking in general.
I had an interesting conversation related to this with a friend of mine a while back. Apparently she usually thinks mostly in words, while I think in more abstract sensations or images. (summer = dark green color + feeling of warm sunlight and warm wind) All she has to do to talk is say her thoughts outloud, while I have to first translate them into words and sentences before I can even open my mouth.
I like to say that I think in really big mutable general concepts, abs only in specifics when solving a puzzle or troubleshooting. Sensations is much closer than words for sure.
You are not alone. I can’t really do anything else and maintain a conversation.
Monosyllabic responses tend to get the point across pretty well.
Not sure if this is similar but I can’t listen to a podcast and work. I either put 100 percent of my brain into work or the podcast. Now put on some music, and I can jam in my head while working - in fact it seems to help my drive on whatever I’m focusing on.
Rain sounds and/or instrumental music are the only way I can focus when the environment is noisy.
I talk best with someone while fidgeting with a simple task, pacing around, or both of us looking far off in the distance. It gives me an excuse to look away and get rid of the energy. If I’m not doing anything at all, then I get too focused on looking like I’m listening or normal. If I’m doing something that takes concentration, then I’m going to completely 💯% mess one of them up royally.
I’m constantly apologizing at work because I cannot write and speak at the same time.
