On October 25, 2019, I woke up, hungover again, after grabbing just a few hours of restless, pass out sleep, and called in sick to work, again. I lay there, wallowing in self-hatred and depression, my head pounding and my stomach queasy, and I was just desperate not to have to live like this. I opened up the note app on my phone, and wrote myself a message not to forget how this felt and never to go back. It was a hail Mary, I’d tried and failed so many times to give it up, but like I said, I was desperate so I threw myself a message in a bottle that I could go back and read.

It worked. I got rid of all leftover booze in my house, which I’d tried before, and took it day by day. I haven’t had a drop since. I read and re-read that note to myself multiple times over the years, and it’s helped remind me of that day, of how it feels to be under that yoke. And it’s strengthened me in my resolve to never take it on again.

If you’re reading this, I’m not saying that this is the answer for you. What I am saying is that there is hope, things can change, life can get better. You aren’t doomed, you can be free of this. Don’t stop fighting, don’t stop struggling, even when it gets hard. You can do it. You can make it.

I believe in you. I support you. IWNDWYT.

  • Dkarma@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m not op but I’ve got over 3 yr no booze and used to drink a lot daily like u.

    Speaking personally I just got sick of feeling how you describe. Not hungover but just sloppy and gross… You go to the same bars and see the same ppl wasting their lives away on beer and never actually doing anything or going anywhere just getting DUIs and rotting from the inside. Is that where you want to be in 10, 20 years? Right where u are now no book written no album spun all you did was drink ur cash away?

    You’re better than that homie. I can tell even over the wire. The hardest part is the first month ngl.

    I know u got 30 days in u. What have you got to lose? A few weeks being tipsy?

    Buy a few cases of sparkly la Croix and chug that stuff hard when u want to drink. Trust me it helps.

    Best of luck friend.