What’s crackalacking! Yeah, I’m actually sticking to this, since it seems like a lot of people had a lot of fun with it last week, and I’m still having fun forcing my horrible ideas onto the unsuspecting populace of beehaw. And then you lot, entirely forgetting the point of all this take the bad ideas and actually make them entertaining! How could you?! I’ve actually become emotionally attached to Emo-Chan and her battle to defeat Hitler. Of the drama obsessed story teller food critic. Alice and her Woman Emotions. And, of course, the late entry of Timmy’s Taco Tuesday Torment. (How could you miss the alliteration you MONSTER)
Jokes aside, I’m going to do things a bit differently this time. I’ve always found the traditional reddit writing prompt to be a bit too limiting, so I’ll be trying to include some writing prompts that don’t really follow the formula of “here’s a story idea.” To a greater extreme. Also, feel free to post your own prompts in the comments, I’ll try to edit the post to include them, and if I find the time/energy to, I’ll write a few myself. No promises though, I’m a lazy bastard.
Adding onto that, I want to stress that the point of this activity is just to write. Not write a complete or even good story. Just to write. If you don’t like the prompts, ignore em, or make up your own, or write about how bad the prompts are. I don’t care just write!
Now, I’ll stop fudging around and give you the prompts of the week.
Bad Character Ideas
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Like, omigosh, did you see that Janet was going out with Hugnthlenbar? She totes just dumped Jason for him too! Ugh, what a, like, totes bitch, right?
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A young shonen protagonist, ready to take on the world with his best friend! The parasitic alien fungus that occupies the right side of his body. He is still relentlessly positive.
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Elves… As wise as they are old. And of course they all old, right? I mean, it’d be unthinkable for the wandering Elf spouting wisdom of the ancients for the low low price of $699.99 (plus gratuity) to not be old. R-Right?
Bad Setting Ideas
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In honour of facebook market place deciding that my one and only desire in this world is apparently milk kefir grains (no I don’t know what they’re used for either), the story is set and explained through horrible social media posts.
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Check it out! Fashion revolution, new styles and the hottest new designs to wear in the post apocalypse world!
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Everyone knows the get stuck in the videogame plot. And that’s already bad. But what if the videogame also just sucked? Glitchy, unfinished, and nearly entirely empty.
Bad Plot Ideas
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A deep intrigue story filled with deep plots where everyone has their own interests. It’s for a baking competition.
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Since I’m apparently on an anime roll here right now. The plot is that the cast is trying to kill God. God is just a chill dude though.
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An adventure story where the dohicky that everyone is after is lost media from a children’s TV show from the 70s. This is treated with a grand amount of severity.
Unique Idea!
- Hey, you know that piece of media that you love? The one close to your heart? Write a bias an unfair review of it where you rip it to shreds and call it shit.
Alright, once more I’m running out of time before work. Thanks for reading, and double thanks for posting! I’m off and out, see you all next week!
KENTARO AND MR. STICKS
Cicadas buzzed in the trees and tall grass.
“Which way is it again?” Kentaro asked.
“According to my calculations, should be right over this ridge,” said a male voice that sounded like Jason Stathom for some reason.
“Gosh it’s such a beautiful day, Mr Sticks,” Kentaro got to the top of a grassy hill and stretched. It was a beautiful sunny summer day, he looked out over the overgrown valley, an abandoned village ahead. Kentaro was a seven year old boy with a bowl cut and glasses.
The left side of Kentaro’s body was orange and sponge-like, the left side of his head was sprouted with hundreds of filaments, each with a tiny eyestalk that moved independent of Kentaro’s brown eye. The left side if his head still had hair, all the eyestalks sticking out. Mr Sticks had a toothy mouth below Kentato’s ear.
“We don’t have much time,” said Mr. Sticks in his grim voice. “We have to get to the tape while the coast is clear.”
“But if the coast is clear, can’t we take a break? I’m hungry.”
Kentaro walked to a piece of rubble and sat down. He started rooting around in his backpack.
“YOu don’t understand, the fate of the galaxy is at stake here. Kentaro. Kentaro?”
Kentaro hummed and continued pulling things out of his bag, a thermos, extra socks, a half dozen action figures, comic books.
“Didn’t you pack anything for the search?”
“What are you talking about I packed tons of stuff. Cookies!” Kentaro pulled out a cardboard box with bears all over it. “You want one? These are great!”
“Make it snappy,” said Mr. Sticks.
While Kentaro stuffed his face Mr. Stick’s 2000 eyes looked in all directions, wary.
“I think someone’s coming,” said Mr. Sticks. “Stop eating cookies! If we don’t get that tape, the intergalactic army of doom’s gonna destroy your whole planet. Don’t you care?”
“Sure I care, I care a lot,” said Kentaro, still eating cookies.
“THEN COME ON, kid. We don’t have much time.”
Kentaro looked at his Doraemon digital watch.
“It’s only 10:15!”
“That’s not what I mean! Get moving kid,”
“Sheesh, okay. You know if you had a cookie you’d probably feel better,” Kentaro offered the box to Mr. Sticks again.
“Focus, kid. We need to get into that old TV station, and we need to find the room where they store the tapes. It’s an old episode of Brave Star Warriors. Number 621. The tape is down there.”
“Why did they hide the secret code on an old video tape again?”
“Wasn’t my people’s idea. Last time we trust earthlings again.”
“But you trust me, right? Mr Sticks? We’re friends right?”
“Uuuugh. Where’s the entrance?”
“Over there!”
Kentaro smiled brightly, pointing to the front door of the old TV station. It was brown bricks, crumbling and overgrown with vines. They passed an “OSAKA TV” sign, rusting at the corners.
Meanwhile, Mr. Sticks’ many eyes started to look around with increasing worry.
“I sense someone’s approaching. We have to hurry, kid. Shouldn’t have stopped to eat cookies.”
Kentaro stopped again.
“What?!”
“The sign!”
Kentaro stood before a more recently installed sign, a laminated board on a pole. It read “AREA IS UNSAFE, DO NOT ENTER - 500,000 YEN FINE!”
“We can’t go in there!”
“UUUUUGH,” said Mr. Sticks. “Just go.”
“I don’t have that kind of money.”
“Kid, the universe it at stake here.”
“But what if we get in trouble?!”
Mr. Sticks starts to cuss under his breath,
Just then they hear rustling in the tall grass and vines growing in the old parking lot beside the building…