• Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Emotional Labor is for the individual to do. If you feel like you need help, that’s what a therapist is for. Do you expect a gf to be your therapist? Sharing and expressing feelings is a normal part of a relationship, but expecting your SO to also be your own personal therapist is completely unhealthy. Everyone has their own emotional Labor to do, why should anyone else (who’s not a therapist) be expected to do yours?

    • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      Everyone has their own emotional Labor to do, why should anyone else (who’s not a therapist) be expected to do yours?

      Because part of a healthy relationship involves sharing with your partner and helping them through their struggles, emotional or otherwise?

      • Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Sharing and expressing feelings is a normal part of a relationship, but expecting your SO to also be your own personal therapist is completely unhealthy

        I literally said that. The difference is sharing your own progress in a healthy way compared to expecting your SO to do the progress for you

    • jackoneill@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      uhhh, yeah, my wife and i try to be the best therapist we can be for each other. not wanting to do that for the person you love seems weird to me.

      • Keeponstalin@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I’m talking about an unhealthy codependency that can happen when someone with a developed fight-response pairs with someone with a developed fawn-response. It sounds like you two have a healthy relationship where you can discuss each other’s problems with each other freely. Which is good.

        Personally, no I wouldn’t expect my partner to unravel my own personal cPTSD for me. I would work on it myself and with a therapist need be. Discussing my progress and thoughts on my own cPTSD and hearing my partner’s is a healthy thing to do.