Dating is odd to me. I do not really know what my motivations are. If I actually find someone. What then? What will we do? How different will our relationship be from a regular friendship (besides you know what). And should it be?

Should you be wanting to do other things with your SO then a very good friend?

What I’m getting at is, have you ever thought to someone: “They don’t really want a relationship they just want a one particular friend with benefits.”

I don’t know if I’m rambling over here. But I’m really having difficulty digesting this one.

Edit: The reason I ask is because I’m thinking to start dating again but I don’t know my end goal.

  • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    188·
    1 year ago

    Well basically love is a form of psychosis where someone becomes the most important thing to you and your whole reality bends around that. You feel a deep abiding satisfaction and comfort just being in their presence or hearing their voice. Your personal identity becomes secondary to your shared identity as a couple and your connection to them is a core part of your emotional state and thought process. Anything that contradicts being with or caring for them is basically impossible to even think. This can be really wonderful or really horrible depending on the circumstances.

      • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        1·
        11 months ago

        The way I see it infatuation is just the surface feeling, love is when it becomes a more permanent core motivation and foundation of what you do and think. What do you think the difference is?

        • ken_cleanairsystems@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
          1·
          11 months ago

          Some of the things you mentioned in your first comment really point to infatuation to me, like your perseonal identity becoming secondary to a shared identity, and “Anything that contradicts being with or caring for them is basically impossible to even think.” These sound like elements of an unhealthy relationship.

          • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            1·
            11 months ago

            Why are those things necessarily unhealthy? I phrased it in a negative way to emphasize that love can be unhealthy, but having a shared life/identity, being devoted to a person beyond rationality, if these things aren’t present I’m not sure how it would qualify as love at all.

            The point is that, good or bad, love is overwhelming and all encompassing.