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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • CandleTiger@programming.devto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneRadio Dial Rule
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    2 days ago

    Preach on.

    I went to the Women’s Rights National Historical Park in Seneca Falls, NY, and of all the things that really struck me hard there (it was a lot) I think the biggest hit was realizing how fucking long it took between the start of mainstreaming the movement and women actually getting the vote. None of the women who started that movement lived long enough to cast their own vote.

    There was no “women’s black panthers”. There was no threat of violence if women can’t control their own lives. Everybody got to pretty much just stay comfortable with their nice order. And change did. not. happen. For years.

    Maybe the slow pace was worth it, I don’t know. I’m not a woman and I’m not much devoted to order. But it seems pretty clear that “avoid offending anybody” is not an effective tool for change.













  • (Not a woman): my partner does not like receiving oral sex or other kinds of sex where she is mostly passive/receiving, because she doesn’t like feeling put on the spot and obligated to react.

    If your partner has been not getting much from sex for a long time now, then she is also probably feeling a lot of pressure to change and behave right and react as expected which would be not pleasant for her.

    Maybe ask her if she wants to play a game where she reads a book out loud (sexy book or bit sexy book) or play a cozy video game or some other activity where you get to enjoy yourself playing with her body for potentially a long time, and she has something else to pay attention to besides her own sexual performance? That would probably also go well with deep toys on low power as well.

    Just, maybe avoid Call of Duty for this one. It has to be a lazy activity she’s doing. If her attention is successfully diverted 100% to the point the sex is an irritating distraction then that’s not any fun for anybody







  • <not autistic person>

    The way I use those words:

    A reason is a cause for an event or a thought process that caused a decision.

    An excuse is one of:

    • a true reason why a person did a bad thing
    • an explanation (true or false) why the cause of events or decisions was somebody else’s actions, not the speaker’s actions
    • an explanation (true or false) pretending to be a reason, that isn’t actually the true cause of the event or decision

    If I said, “don’t give me any of your excuses” to somebody, I would be meaning all of:

    • something bad happened and I think it’s your fault
    • I want you to agree with me that it’s your fault and accept blame
    • I think you have a pattern of not seeing (or not admitting) that your actions cause bad things, and that’s happening again now

    This is a bunch of very negative stuff to be meaning. It could be whoever said that is an asshole, blind, or unfair. If they treat everybody with negative shit like this that’s likely and there’s just no winning with such a person.

    I actually have said stuff like “don’t give me excuses” to my kids. I think I’m not an asshole. When I said it, I thought my kid was flailing about doing dumb shit without thinking. What I meant for my kid was, “I want for you to start thinking about how a chain of events fits together, and I want you to accept you have the ability and the responsibility to see a bad outcome forming, and to take actions to make a better outcome instead.”