shrugging off the weight of my sins

i felt your gay aura 10 scrolls away

Kitchen so small in my place, it’s like a 3x1 room where I stand in the doorway to cook, rimworld style.

Crack open a boy with the cold ones

They gave them codenames based off of soda brands? Being an american is so fucking embarassing

Thinking back to when I told my mom she was more of a gamer than me because of how often she played candy crush and other little puzzle games on her phone and she got MAD at me.

“I didn’t ask” and yet, now you know

the grass is greener, just hop over the fence and check

Wow, thank you! That was the answer!

Imagine dying and turning into a ghost, only for your ghost to die again

Is there more context to this?

I was there. I bore witness to SovietBeerTruckOperator’s legendary crash out.

If they go in your butt, they’re not edibles.

at this point is there anything actually good for your health?

You can laugh all you want, but it wont change this simple fact: Dying IS bad for your health

dogs are fantastic at identifying smells, but they’re also willing to eat shit, I trust their abilities not their choice of taste.

there here

Thinking I’ll become a “how will I explain this to my kids” type of guy, but instead of about lgbt people, it’ll be about actually confusing things

“multivariable calculus?! now how am I supposed to explain this to my kids?!”

and it’ll happen to YOU

Like catdog, but catcat