I went to the thrift store and picked out a couple skirts and a cute sweater, the changing room was closed so I tried on a skirt in the McDonald’s bathroom and it fit. I don’t know how I had the courage to do this because Ive barely worn women’s clothing on my own let alone in public but I just kept it on as I took the bus home. I was giddy laughing to myself because I looked in the mirror and actually liked how I looked. I have some thinking to do
How bad is it, I haven’t been single my adult life until now so I haven’t had to use them but I will need to find some kind of connection soon and have no way to really meet people in the real world. Is it as degrading as it feels like it’ll be as someone who has let’s say a low value on the marketplace
Thank you
I just want to be held and told I’m ok… ill try my best
Its that im scared of how others will view me and treat me because I’m surrounded by transphobes and because of what women have to endure in general. And I know I don’t have to it’s the uncertainty of not knowing myself that’s getting to me , and I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I feel so awful and I think not being ok with my gender identity as it is now is part of it. Per other posters I’ll take little steps and try things and start thinking about myself in different ways and try not be apprehensive about it
That would be nice…
I’m scared that I might not be cis and in denial. I tell myself it’s just me feeling like I don’t want to / can’t live up to the standards of masculinity, that my genitals specifically don’t give me dysphoria so I cant be trans , but maybe I’m just scared of adding more complications to my life of adding another form of discrimination I’ll get to have , that I feel like I’ll never find anyone and presenting myself another way will make it 100x harder . Why do I cry if I even begin to imagine myself looking feminine , I just want to close my eyes and have them not open.
The society lives in my head. I’ve been a socialist coming on a decade now and I still have the pressure from things I don’t believe at all living in my head , telling me I’m an atomized individual that doesn’t have value to be exchanged , that the state wants me dead because I come from nothing and I don’t provide enough value to capital. I wish I was strong enough to fight back
You’re not alone. At least you have the energy to keep interviewing and applying. Please try to feed yourself neglecting that is going to make you feel worse. You have my best wishes
It’s proof I fooled someone into thinking I could be good and then after enough time they realized I’m just a burden that brings other around me down and it will always be that way.
I do believe that about everyone else but I cant apply it to myself.i think things about myself I would never think about others. The social darwinism and death drive of this society is still in my head telling me I’m worthless I’m a useless eater and ill never be a valuable man or woman or whatever I am I’ll never have a place, even in circles like this I dont fit in I’ve never had a place I belong
Thank you
I’ve never made anything better.
What is time for myself, there’s nothing I enjoy now. I’ve heard focus on yourself so much, clearly I am I’m focused on hatig myself and hurting myself and wasting away. That’s unhealthy and toxic and I’m just embracing it now I’m goin to be a piece of shit that brings everyone down at least if I do it openly and loudly nobody will ever give me time and get disappointed that they can’t help me it’ll just be obvious
I don’t want to take money from people when it could be going to gazans or people who are immediately homeless or anyone who needs it more than I do. You talk about what I wish for and i think I really just do want to suffer and thats why it happens. I must want to be this way or I wouldn’t sabatoge myself and put myself in this position. My brain is so completely broken and useless.
Also lmao at Walter white representing the "good " opinion as a self centered murderer that worked with child killing neo nazis
Go to any of these places now. Not saying this argument was valid before Oct 7 but how could you say this when everything is gaza is rubble now.
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You’re being pretty condecending and dickish. Relax a little bit
There’s only been one way out the whole time. Organize. For. REVOLUTION. That doesn’t mean stash some guns with your friends who are already leftists (not that that’s negative) , but organize your community, being more people into the fold ,study revolutionary movements. We build the movement or we submit to the death machine, and we keep revolution as the goal in mine or we become harm reduction liberals and never reach liberation