with strongly worded letters

yeah stuff like this always feels… wanky…

you go ahead and philosophise about precisely how to go about things, and i’ll be busy kicking nazis in the dick.

the joke is that “smashed my penis flat with this mug” is an inherently funny thing to say, and it’s even more absurd when it’s printed on the mug in question

it’s basically just minimal slapstick humor

right but like, we changed that because it makes things incredibly difficult when you’re communicating in effectively real time across the world

I think other planets would have both a local time and earth time, much like we now have clock time and “look outside and see where the sun is” time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_m7gTCeBWU

the masculine urge to wear nothing but a kilt and a bright magenta tank top

idk, i feel i need more head

i genuinely expect the game to be one of the first things we invented

“say charles, where did you get the water for this?”
“uhh, i just caught some pouring off the toadstool, why?”
“Charles, we’re sitting under a fly agaric. They’re hallucinogenic to humans and we’re a fraction of their body mass. You’ve doomed us both, charles.”

counterpoint: non-monoculture lawns
We don’t have the practice of torturing our lawns here, so they have a bunch of species and in the spring you’ll see random flowers popping out :D

you’ve triggered my trap card and now i’m going to talk about something incredibly nerdy

Sound has such a profound affect on us and no one fucking thinks about it, it’s nuts. There have been days when there is barely anyone driving near me and all of a sudden when i walk outside i feel like i’ve been transported to one of those old swedish movies set in the countryside, it just feels like proper summer somehow. Similar thing happens when there’s snow in the winter, everything gets quieter and it sounds like winter in a way that it just doesn’t without the snow, but is impossible to put your finger on.

for reference: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Glasgow_kiss

i am now imagining demoman dressed in a kilt-apron, cooking haggis

“ohhh theyrr goin to hafta gluu yuu back togethrr, after yuu’ve had yer fill o my cookin!”

“we weren’t sure, but now we know for a fact”

if only we had some sort of medication specifically designed to cause an erection

“haha, can’t handle my humor huh? Yeah go ahead and block me, snowflake!”
“man why do i not have any friends…”

i’ve been doing it wrong my entire life‽

i’m now starting a movement to say “newies” instead of “news”

they definitely faint when exposed to a glaswegian kiss