If you ban scrolling in public, only criminals will scroll in public. Remember, the only way to stop a bad guy scrolling in public is a good guy scrolling in public.

I’m The Mighty Kräcken and I approve this message.

I read until I got cancer, then I read some more, and now I have super cancer.

Cute, fuzzy disaster.

Best I can do is squirrels

He’s a good boy

Lab mix. Who knows what mixed with what.

The rake is frozen to the ground

This isn’t even on my top 100 list of worst-case scenarios.

I wanted to play volleyball in high school, but they just looked at me like I was a nut.

Look outside to see if your neighbors are running.

I really hope there is a geological group that calls themselves by that name.

I want him to fully experience every day that he was sentenced to live in prison. Death would be an early release.

It seems to be decent from a cursory glance. Were you being sarcastic? No offense, it’s hard to tell sometimes.

Thank God they took down thousands of the millions of sock puppet accounts!