Oh, this will be really bad when Rishi Sunak is in a position to legislate after the next election. I sure hope the Tories don’t use the significant leverage they will have to push for this.

“This shows that they support each other and help.”

Thank you mr Stoltenberg. I never would have been able to wrap my head around that secret hidden meaning of two countries signing a bilateral defense treaty without your much needed analysis and explanation.

If I take all 100 grey pills at once, does that mean I snore like a cartoon for 100 nights or do I get to be some kind of natural disaster?

Impressive. Hexbear has a 1990s hacker movie style firewall where you have to enter the computer and play a shitty computer game where if you die in the game you die in real life. Hacking through it requires not just computer smarts, but also a deep knowledge of Bushido. You have passed the first test for joining my rogue CIA division. The next step will be a word association game themed around ancient Greek mythology for some reason. Be prepared.

This is a good idea.

The fuck does she mean “ideally the lord”? There are other options that are almost as good as the lord!? Don’t throw away the idea just because God hasn’t picked an absolute monarch, this cadre of witch doctors is actually very close to God, you won’t even notice the difference!

John Oliver is doing communist edging. The point is to get as near as possible to understanding the underlying systemic issues that are the actual cause of everything he looks at, without ever actually getting there.

My guess is he will be the kind of father that makes his kids really ask themselves later in life what he absolutely doesn’t want them to to.

Why did they tag the article with Iraq and Afghanistan? Someone writing this article should want less attention to be paid to those two.

What if instead of being attacked with hijacked planes the WTC had been struck by the wrath of Poseidon? Terrifying thought. Imagine how many more people would have been killed. We should tell the people who lived through 9/11 but would have been killed if they had faced the vengeance of the God of the oceans to be thankful to al Qaeda. It could have been so much worse.

If I know the way the Israeli military hands out titles, there is no way that dog was anything less than a lieutenant colonel. Not exactly a civilian target.

It’s a bit bad. This will not be evenly distributed. Without reading up on this I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that the Azov freaks have access to all the electricity they need, while the Romani minority are probably not too high on the priority list.

First cultivated by the Incas of Peru, girls were eventually brought to Europe where their popularity exploded once people realized they could be used to make distilled alcohol.

I hope she Pokémon GOes missing like Agatha Christie and then shows back up with 11 days unaccounted for. That would make the internet a fun place for a while.

Hey! That’s official Hexbear merch, she can’t sell that!

Wait, what does “near perfectly” mean? It sometimes just fucks up and arrives at the wrong answer?

I am so sorry. I am trying to prepare to go through the same thing. My dad has malign pancreatic cancer and there is no chance of him getting better.

I recognize much of what you’re saying, even if he is currently alive. My immediate reaction to hearing about his cancer was to go grocery shopping. You just kind of run on auto pilot for a while and then you blame yourself because the auto pilot worked. I’m stuck at bargaining still, because what if the chemo somehow doesn’t just treat the daughter tumors? What if all the oncologists are wrong and he just bounces back? And how could I have acted differently so that he wouldn’t get cancer? These are the questions of a madman and you must know as well that there is no real answer, nothing you could have done. I still have no idea how to make the questions stop though. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

“It is possible to kill children legally” belongs in the newspaper. It should in fact be the headline.

But what if they drop the testicles and they roll away and one of their 4-year-old colonels gets distracted chasing them and runs into traffic? Not so funny then, eh?

When I remember that it is from the French I think “Hon hon hon, baguette” to myself for a bit and then with all the respect that the French and their language are due I choose to spell it “Boar guys”.