Try Zapdos Ex , 4 heads is bliss

“We put all our politicians in prison as soon as they’re elected. Don’t you?” “Why?” “It saves time.” -Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

enjoy the tariffs snowflake

you could always just find the folder windows update lives in and change the permissions so the system can’t access it.

If this was written before 1922 that shit was a death sentence. Probably not tho

How much do you want to bet it was just a guy saying “Hey be careful with trumpers because they like to shoot at us.” political discrimination my ass. Wolves whining because a sheep won’t jump into their teeth.

I hate when my cart runs into these. Sometimes a few times. Can’t be helped

Thats because its… HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED

avoid altogether. [object] belongs to Travis

That’s just a golden calf with more steps. Little fuckers even yellow. Damned priests need to read their book

It straps you to the seat so when the plane suddenly drops 50 feet due to turbulence your dumbass doesn’t launch into the ceiling.

“Your nose is your cutest feature, that’s why I chose it” is the correct response

It can’t be normal to wear out k9 teeth. I know they file them so they punch instead of tear but this seems dumb. What is he biting bricks?

My dog is scared of all dogs. She jumped into my arms like friggin scooby doo the other day when a poodle ran up to us. The lady kept saying “shes friendly! shes friendly!” over and over. Madam I am holding a 60 pound animal like a frightened child, we don’t want to meet you. I had to walk away carrying my dog because she wouldn’t get her dog away from me.

Cream of wheat but then you put a gloop of fruit yoghurt on top. Delicious probiotic fruit gruel.

2nd place goes to microwaved potato

Ranked choice voting eliminates the concept of spoiler candidates/parties.

You know how you keep missing the exploding bridge jump on the first level? You gotta stop shooting the machine gun while you jump. Makes you go a little further.

Balance? Fucked up my sour dough starter is what you did Grimace.

Someone making 400,000 a year who has no need to risk their job for 25 dollars mentioned it off hand to HR. One could infer that the policies were unclear and the reaction was overkill.