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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • I don’t suppose you have access to a sewing machine? Skirts are one of the easiest things in the world to sew, and while fabric from a craft store might not be cheap, there are options for thrifted or secondhand fabrics that are more budget friendly.

    I’m transmasc so I don’t have great advice on fit, but here’s a short on skirt placement that sounds like pretty solid advice to me. If you fit the skirt around your “new waist” like they suggest (right under your ribs), you might not need the belt, and you’ll be able to hide any weird sewing on the waist line with your top. Then the only thing you really need to sew properly is the hem, which is dead simple on a machine.


  • I’m job hunting right now and turning over a lot of similar questions, about how much I should be asking for.

    A few years back I got over 80% by switching sectors - I was underpaid at a public sector job I loved, and switched to a private sector job in the finance industry and a higher COL area. Similar to you, they offered more than I asked for because corporate had specific pay brackets for that position.

    I think your pay depends a lot on the specific area/tech stack you’re working in and who you’re working for. Some tech stacks just pay more on average than others, bigger corporations can usually pay more than smaller companies, and private sector will always pay more than public sector (but usually with worse benefits). You can check Glassdoor or similar sites to see what people with a similar title make at the company you’re applying to, but that’s only helpful at really big companies where there are enough employees reporting to give a good average.



  • I recently wrote a tool to make my D&D games a little easier. It’s a web app that lets you load up an encounter’s worth of enemies and keep track of their health (plus extra stuff, like legendary actions). And it does the math for you, which is a huge weight off my mental load.

    It would be neat to expand it with an API that lets you load in monsters from a database and calculate the encounter difficulty, but I’m in no hurry. I don’t usually have a lot of energy to code on weekends now that it’s my full time job.


  • Trans guy here. There was no masc version of my deadname, and my parents didn’t have a name picked out for if I’d been AMAB, so those routes were closed to me. I initially tried to pick something where I could keep my initials, but the only names I liked were already “in use” in my social and family circles, and it didn’t feel right.

    So I looked at the popularity of my deadname in my birth year, then started from that same rank on the boy name charts for the same year and worked my way out. I found a name of very similar popularity that I really liked, and met my other self-imposed criteria (nickname I liked, no nicknames that I hated, not easily misspelled or confused with a femme name). The benefit of looking at birth year popularity ranks is that I ended up with a name that doesn’t sound “too old” or “too young” for me, which may or may not matter to other people.

    My parents did something similar when they named us, so that we’d have names that were recognizable, but we wouldn’t share our name with five other kids in our class. (My mom had a very popular name for her age group and she hated it.)

    For my middle name I picked a name I always loved but that I didn’t want for my first name, for practical reasons (easily misspelled, gender neutral, much more popular for younger kids than for my age group). In my area, nobody ever knows your middle name unless you go out of your way to tell them, so I let myself have more fun with it.

    It’s been close to a decade and I still love both of them. I “tried it on” with friends for a few months before starting legal paperwork, and I’m glad I did. Some other names I tried out didn’t stick.


  • There’s other quality-of-life upgrades available in the gem store (real world money store) like infinite gathering tools and inventory expansions. That’s what I spent my IRL money on. But yeah, not really accurate to call that a “power” improvement.

    Can you buy fractals infusions or other equipment upgrades with gems or gold, or do you have to acquire them through fractal dailies? I never had enough friends to do the fractals content.