with all the privacy that i’ve had with my partner away i…
…cried endlessly for two days while watching Wandering Son.
why tf did i tell my doctor the effect i wanted most out of hrt was more feelings?? this shit’s too much (jk crying is euphoric)
it’s been like 5 years since i’ve wanted a tattoo and I still can’t decide on what to get 
i’m thinking something on my leg…
completely agree. i’ve seen some of the worst hate speech in some comments and i’m so much more sensitive about it now too
yeah… sometimes i have a bit of a problem with hate watching brainwormy shit which becomes a feedback loop 
anyways, trying to improve. might try to get in contact with some irl friends since my partner will be gone for a week. honestly probably just need some 
a second uninstall has hit tiktok 
i really thought that if i carefully curated my algo then i could avoid the shit that burnt me out in the first place.
while there’s so many trans users on there i’ll miss seeing, the feed equally rewards engaging in content that I like and dislike. end result being a fuck-tonne of radfems talking mad shit about anyone that’s not a cis-white woman. the general uptick in 4b bullshit (australian state media even had a fucking article about it) isn’t helping that either…
so i think the healthiest thing for me to do rn is to just disengage
imma try to work past my lifelong posting anxiety and lurk less, i have gay takes that must be heard
others may have better advice but I can relate to the solution-oriented part. I generally try to just balance it out: too much dysphoria? not enough euphoria. then i go and do something that makes me feel pretty (whilst not looking in a mirror) like painting my nails
dysphoric episodes suck, I hope you feel better soon 
seeing China’s W’s, maybe we need more corporate commies
i really like Rural Internet - BREAKING UP
lesbian
two cats
a lot of weed
did i write this?
but sounds like a lovely time, how is Spain?
the girl vibing will stop for no one!!!
that’s really good advice, thank you. she’s always been a bit narcissistic, but i don’t really have much else close family.
i’m now a lot more nervous to come out to my grandmother, she’s probably the next closest. i don’t know if i can stomach both of them reacting that way…
and thank you for the support as well, my friends have been amazing but this community is the best ❤
thank you, i hope she does too 
i came out to my mum on the weekend and it didn’t go too well. she’s been pretty selfish with the whole thing and she keeps asserting that she gave birth to a son and doesn’t have a daughter. i’ve blocked her for now, i don’t know how this resolves but i have other people in my life who do actually care about me so i’d rather spend my time with them.
on the bright side i’m out to the majority of my friends now, i’ve switched over all my socials, and my skin is getting softer! i really love being trans, i just wish i didn’t have to deal with any of this other shit…
thank you for the encouragement! it was such a fun night!! my friends were very chill as well
me fr:
yeah i’ve been seeing the weird red scare bs as of late. i didn’t realise how much dormant union-hate existed here…
fuck Labor, fuck the media - lapdogs of industrial lobby groups
skirts are cute as hell
planning on coming out to some friends tomorrow and maybe dressing femme to a venue. i’m scared of psyching myself out cause i have the perfect outfit planned and am sick of letting myself be misgendered
ah that might be good, i got the small ones
first day of hormones today 
i’ve been put on patches, are there some patch locations which work better than others?
uhhhh this is a long rant into the void, i’m sorry in advance
recontextualising my childhood (cw depression)
i’m now realising that i was very likely depressed when i was 14-15. at the time i remember thinking that i wasn’t charismatic/masculine enough for anyone to spend time with. i thought a lot about suicide but never considered it. i watched SO many videos like “How to get people to like you”. but i didn’t think i was depressed then because i had a group of friends, now i don’t think they ever really cared about my wellbeing at all. then, go figure, i would crush so hard on any girl that showed me any lick of compassion or just feel weird that i was trying to hang out with someone of the other gender. it’s infuriating how much my friends, family, the internet, all bullied the masculinity into me and that i had no idea what was wrong with me (was yet to figure out there was nothing wrong, just trans and autistic).
well i was at that low point until i started talking to someone and one day she invited me to this charity event that i cross-dressed in. her friends, that i had known but not really connected with before, helped me get ready and they made me feel so fucking pretty omg. i never forgot that, it was the best night i’d had in a really long time (even if my friends laughed at the pictures when they saw them). well, full of anxiety i asked that girl out and she said yes. we dated for 10 months or so and i think the whole time i was living vicariously through her - “while boys can’t go to girls hangouts and help do girl things, boyfriends can” kinda mentality. the break up was kinda expected but losing that group of people that actually cared about me was really tough.
there was quite a bit of repression after that but i’ll save that for another rant lol
anyways, thank god for
. i’m sad that it took me a while to figure out but i’m glad it happened when it did