It’s honestly fucked up that they have legs, like it does not fit into their design, just be content with having wings and little stubby feet please

While you were learning to fly I studied the blade.

Oh god oh fuck

but why??? what have i done to deserve this???

Don’t pick fights when you have hollow bones. One clean hit from a fly swatter and you’ve got hundreds of thousands in medical bills.

(Nervously) Heyy… Dirt_Owl! You’re alive and not in jail. I swear it wasn’t me who ratted on you to the highway patrol! W-who does that?? I’m sure whoever they are, they understand now that owls are good at catching rats, and are feeling truly contrite and kind of scared and wondering if the highway patrol officers are okay

a bird just took a shit right into my open trunk

was it you?? is this your first volley???

Jokes on you I don’t got an ass

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