On the other hand, I’m not sure I’ve met anyone who quite fits the bill of a normal, healthy, emotionally secure person. Everybody I know is fairly messed up, and most of them never figure out that they are, much less actually work on themselves.
Just be aware of and frank about your issues while working on them. You can’t build character without adversity, and character is attractive.
I am admittedly, in a similar boat. But I wouldn’t want to date anyone who hasn’t been through some shit. How could we ever relate?
This is it, everybody is fucked up (to some level), they just don’t show it or know it. It took me going to therapy at 30+ to begin to even understand the impact by upbringing had on me. I had it fairly easy, only child of divorced parents who tolerated each other for me, but still struggled hard until my early 20s, and it still has significant impact on who I am and what kind of difficulties I face e.g. in my job.
“Normal” people are just ao traumatized of being forced to be “normal” that they continue the abusive cycle of equating “normal” with “good”. “Normal” people are not less traumatized than “non-normal”/weird people. Their trauma is just repressed and barely visible.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I’ve met anyone who quite fits the bill of a normal, healthy, emotionally secure person. Everybody I know is fairly messed up, and most of them never figure out that they are, much less actually work on themselves.
Just be aware of and frank about your issues while working on them. You can’t build character without adversity, and character is attractive.
I am admittedly, in a similar boat. But I wouldn’t want to date anyone who hasn’t been through some shit. How could we ever relate?
This is it, everybody is fucked up (to some level), they just don’t show it or know it. It took me going to therapy at 30+ to begin to even understand the impact by upbringing had on me. I had it fairly easy, only child of divorced parents who tolerated each other for me, but still struggled hard until my early 20s, and it still has significant impact on who I am and what kind of difficulties I face e.g. in my job.
Ding ding ding.
“Normal” people are just ao traumatized of being forced to be “normal” that they continue the abusive cycle of equating “normal” with “good”. “Normal” people are not less traumatized than “non-normal”/weird people. Their trauma is just repressed and barely visible.