Ok so what I suppose you would call an “elder zoomer” or whatever, born in the span of '98-'02, entering my mid-20s. Get all your geriatric chomsky emotes out of your systems, it’s fine. My parents were born in '71 and '72 respectively, meaning they just entered their 50s. My dad has always been a computer guy, played dnd back in the 80s, introduced me and my brother to pirating media growing up, etc. Basically, he’s a nerd. He’s always been a nerd. He also holds some weird contradictory views ranging from very based (like pirating and hating the US) to very chuddy but that’s unrelated for now.

My point is, my dad isn’t some tech-illiterate boomer who hates “the iphones and nintendos” or whatever. Despite this, he’s completely, and I mean completely oblivious to any and all internet culture. Hell, my mom runs circles around him in terms of being able to understand memes and me and my brother have even gotten her to start using “copium” correctly to my uncle (which is hilarious but also resulted in me having to explain to my extended family what it means during christmas dinner). It’s not like my dad didn’t get on the internet when it first came around, he was a super early adopter of both cellphones and the internet. I also know that he has spent a not-insignificant amount of time on various hobby forums and so on. He still doesn’t know what a “meme” is though, he sends me and my brother “funny pictures” which are all some rank-ass 2012 facebook-funny-page tier shit that always manages to be a bit problematic no matter how innocent the subject matter seems.

He’s also incredibly thin-skinned online. He’s tried playing online games because, well, he like playing games! He just can’t though; he gets so incredibly offended over any and all toxicity (yes toxicity is bad but he’s a grown-ass white cishet male he’s not exactly being targeted with violent slurs) that it would probably be incredibly humorous as an outsider.

His relationship to media online is also quite interesting. He’s fully aware of youtube, with the caveat that to him it’s still just the site where you “go to find a grainy video of some indian with a thick accent to fix an obscure tech problem” (paraphrased from him) or where you watch uploads of live concerts or clips from TV shows. Basically any video uploaded after 2010 doesn’t exist to him. Youtube is just for home-video amateurs, there’s no artistic merit in it, “why would you ever watch someone else play a game? are you stupid”-type-beat, etc. I think if I showed him something like a Jacob Geller essay he would just straight up not get it.

The same goes for video games. While he plays plenty of newer games, he thinks of all games as being either competitive match-based PvP games like counter strike or single player experiences where you play from the start to the end once and then the game is done. I’ve tried so many times to explain to him that the reason ESO is so weird coming from skyrim is that it’s an MMO, and MMOs are fundamentally different. He has no concept of roguelikes or other games that deviate from this standard form of a “cinematic” single-player experience. Just recently he started playing 7 Days to Die and it has been blowing his mind seeing this “super innovative gameplay loop”, but instead of contextualizing it in terms of other survival-crafty games, he thinks it’s cool because “it’s just like Fallout with the scavenging”

Idk people I don’t really have a big point to make here at the end. I love my dad even if our relationship is a bit strained, and the stuff I bring up here are not meant to be specific to him. My mom is the same minus the video games in many ways (not understanding that online videos are more than just charlie bit my finger etc). I’m also aware that framing it as a generational thing is a bit unhelpful and all that, but what can you do.

Do you people have similar stories with tech-literate people who are somehow completely out of touch in terms of internet culture? It’s somehow fascinating to me, and I think maybe talking about it could help me communicate with my parents about it better.

  • DickFuckarelli [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    I’m close to your dad’s age. The part you may have a hard time understanding is the internet for us X-ers was less of a destination and more of a means to an end. More like a tool. The best way I can describe it is like this, in the 90s the internet was the vehicle to get somewhere (the train to pirated software or naked pictures of Asia Carerra or hobbyist forums, etc etc). Later generations see the vehicle as the destination, which is drastically different.

  • PKMKII [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    He has no concept of roguelikes

    That’s rather ironic given that Rogue is an absolute dinosaur of a game. Your dad wasn’t even a teenager when it came out.

    What you’re seeing here is that while some people keep up with whatever the shifts are in culture, others lock into whatever the cultural modes are at a certain timeframe of their life, typically mid thirties to early forties, and any changes after that just don’t compute. It being Internet culture-related is just the current variant on a long running phenomenon.

  • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    I’m a few years older than you, spend all my time on the computer and understand internet culture very well, and I can’t fucking stand it. I’m genuinely envious of people like your dad. Nobody needs to know what “copium” means, I think memespeak is intellectually and comedically lazy, and frankly just annoying. I also don’t understand why anyone would spend their limited time on this planet watching someone else play a video game, but you do you.

    sorry that came across as aggressive but I genuinely detest mainstream internet/gaming culture and wouldn’t begrudge anyone for not understanding or caring about it

      • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        for sure there’s definitely fun things on the internet, I have nothing against silly viral videos and the like. but I don’t ever want to see a wojak or “virgin vs chad” meme ever again in my life

    • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      Memes have always existed, And language is there to make life easier. It’s not lazy to use shorthand based on shared concepts – It’s just what language is.

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      I think you’re just a boomer soul and that’s ok. We’ve all got our vices, i have a few internet funny men that i like watching while eating cereal, sue me I guess. Fwiw i find most mainstream online culture horrible too.

      Thing is though, dad do be loving the mainstream treats. He’s just completely divorced from the cultural context they exist in, wrt online. Instead of saying copium he quotes a bigoted skit from the 80s or just takes what he reads at face value and gets really upset about it. If he was just a grillpilled grass toucher i wouldn’t be making this post, you know?

  • All I can say is, there is only so much interests you can take in before you feel grillman

    To your dad, internet culture is akin to what remembering the planet’s names is to Sherlock…

    If its not much relevant to his field, why should he bother with it?

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Maaaan just be glad your dad isn’t a boomer.

    My parents don’t use computers except for work. They have a million tabs open on their phone which is full of malware. The only thing they use the internet for is to read the latest click bait news articles about how young people suck and China is going to kill them.

    They think piracy is evil and would tell you that if everyone pirated that companies would stop making treats.

    They don’t know what a meme is and if you showed them they would probably just be confused and disgusted and lament the state of the youth.

    They regard video games and D&D with contempt as something for weird losers.

    The only hobby they have is renovating their house and watching TV (Mostly renovating shows, News stories about youths coming to rob them, or crime dramas) really loudly because getting a hearing aid would be admitting they’re old.

    I would kill for parents like yours, they sound way cooler than mine.

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      Oh dont get me wrong I’m aware I’ve got it pretty good. I was just curious about this specific phenomenon of tech-literate but internet-illiterate. Sorry to hear about your folks though 💀

      • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        Fair enough. TBH it just sounds like it’s a case of him simply not being interested in that side of the internet.

        Hell, I’m on the younger end of millennial and I while I dig Zoomer memes (at least the non-chud kind) I can’t stand most social media because it feels so “data harvesty” to me. I don’t even have Twitter or Instagram.

        I guess it just comes down to what you’re used to, and when you’re not a kid there is less pressure to join in that kind of thing.

        • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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          7 months ago

          Fwiw I have 0 social media presence. This post is the most I’ve done in forever. I didn’t make this post because dad won’t acknowledge my tiktok dance or whatever, i don’t anything except this and youtube for slop. This is about the more specific phenomena of being very tech savvy and into video games, modern shows, etc. while being entirely divorced from their online context. It’s just interesting (and a bit furstrating sometimes admittedly) to me!

      • SuperZutsuki [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        Your dad just sounds like he’s very focused on his interests and doesn’t like wasting time. I’m trying to reduce internet usage as much as I can so I have more time for my hobbies and it’s really hard. Seems like he dodged the addiction.

  • xenspidey@lemmy.zip
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    7 months ago

    Being tech savvy, and being literate in “Internet culture” do not have to be synonymous. I’m in between your dad’s age and your own. I would consider myself more like you dad though. Why, am I illiterate to “internet culture”? Because I think it’s stupid and pointless. I refuse most social media. Reddit and now Lemmy are about it. YouTube is for product reviews, music videos, diy, homelab, etc. I have no desire to watch someone else play video games or follow YouTubers. Mr. Beast type stuff is just pointless IMHO. I don’t get the influncer crap. Now I like memes and think they are awesome. I also just text people, the whole snap chat, tiktok stuff annoys the piss or of me. My wife is the exact opposite is me in every way stated above.

  • chickentendrils [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    If not for this forum I think I’d be almost like your dad, my entire awareness of social media is filtered through this and I would not otherwise go out of my way to become aware of it (I did not ever previously so on this I’m confident).

    30+/-2 myself, my father was also a pirate so that’s been going on since day 1, and contributing to open software for more than half my life now, every career role has been some data or programming thing

  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Sounds like me, TBH. Aside from the g*mes.

    Born in 78. Raised on apple 2e and 286 clones. Built my first pc when i was 10 from scrap parts donated by my dads work (he worked for Uncle Sam as a civvie contractor).

    Internet culture? Wtf is that? I had a facebook account for three days when they first dropped the .edu requirement. Deleted it. Never had insty, tiktok, etc. My YT feed is remarkably nonpolitical. It is about 99% plumbing/vehicle teardowns/technical in nature. Ive never watched people play game on twitch. I know it exists, but it isn’t something i do.

    For me? Theres a cut off point where i know the shit exists, i just dgaf about it. My ‘online’ life consists of this place, and this place alone tbh. I browse reddit, but i dont have an account and make no posts there. I use it mostly for the technical knowledge for my stupid hobbies like sewing, and hammock making and how to make whoopie slings for said hammocks.

    Your dad and i are just a few years apart in age, and aside from this den of iniquity, probably pretty damn similar. I guess it is age. You just reach a point where some shit doesnt really matter, and the shit you grew up on/are familiar with is how you look at life.

    Hows his music collection? Anything modern, or mostly older stuff? I listen to some new shit, mostly bluegrass, but by and large, everything i listen to comes from a certain time frame.

    That probably doesnt answer fuck-all, but your pop isnt alone.

  • hello_hello [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    My brother has a degree in CS from an ivy-league university but I was the one who had to slowly explain GNU/Linux and free software to him. He’s leagues smarter than me in maths and programming but I have to hold his hand when he’s installing a new distribution (he’s only installed linux like 3 times vs. me with 50+). For context I’m a foreign language major and have not taken any math or CS courses outside of high school. I find it interesting but I think that’s just a thing personal to my older sibling.

    Not exactly your situation but yeah I think your Dad is having an existential crisis internally and is just ignoring everything new that doesn’t fit into his worldview. A lot of people from that generation of computers can be like that (judging from my high school CS teachers).

  • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Your parents are prime Gen Xers. Here’s my perspective as a prime millennial with boomer parents and Gen Xer coworkers, including some who are as old as your parents:

    1. Meme culture started in the late 90s-early 00s and was spearheaded by xennials on forums like SA. This was back when memes weren’t called memes but fads. So, you wouldn’t say the “all your base are belong to us” meme but the “all your base are belong to us” fad. I remember sharing fads I found on Newgrounds, albinoblacksheep, and Gamefaqs with my classmates in middle school. Meanwhile, your parents would be in their 30s raising you as a baby. This is the headspace they would be in when meme culture was born. If they’ve seen me in middle school, they would’ve just seen some weird 13 year old getting hyped about shitty animation they saw online and other weird 13 year olds being bizarrely fixated on the weird 13 year old’s poor attempt at trying to describe the shitty animation with a 13 year old’s vocabulary. It shouldn’t be that surprising that they don’t really get meme culture, that it gets filed under “weird shit that I’m not going to waste brain processing power to figure out.”

    2. It’s a common adage among IT tech support that the most tech savvy generation are xennials and tech literacy gets worse the further you get away from xennials until you arrive at boomers and zoomers (no offense) who are mostly tech illiterate. So, your dad being tech savvy is just him being a Gen Xer. Part of the relationship Gen Xers have with technology is that they see it purely as a tool, no more and no less. Your dad’s description of how he sees Youtube is pretty much how Gen Xers see technology in general.

    3. I’m super biased, but I actually prefer gen Xer’s relationship towards technology the most. The other generations have flawed relationships towards technology. Boomers are hopelessly addicted to online slop and fall for the most transparent scams, and zoomers have their sense of self mediated by social media, which by itself isn’t that bad except social media is completely governed by corporate algorithms. And as for millennials, I don’t like my generation’s relationship to technology either. I think millennials as a whole were far too naive in the amount of damage social media could’ve done and by the time many people within my cohort woke up, they’ve already invested so much in their particular social media site. It’s like “wow, Facebook is fucked up, too bad I’ve already uploaded 10000 photos, so I might as well continue to use Facebook.”

    4. Your dad just has pleb tastes in games lol. His taste is honestly closer to some millennial dudebro who only started gaming when the Xbox was released. Elitist Gen Xer gamers act completely different from your dad. If anything, they would probably do nothing but play Rogue for like 30 years, rant about how Bethesda ruined Fallout, or play some inexplicably difficult RPG made by Polish devs. Or they would pretty much only consider arcade games to be real games. My boomer dad is really drawn into 80s arcade games like Pacman and Donkey Kong, going so far as to set up MAME for me, but he pretty much doesn’t consider console or PC to be “real games.” I guess the Gen Xer version of my boomer dad would be someone who really likes Street Fighter 2 or Streets of Rage or Metal Slug. But yeah, the gaming part kinda cracks me up because he doesn’t have the same taste as his generation.

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      Thank you for the long comment! I really like point 2, that sounds about right to me. I am quite tech savvy myself, but most of my peers really aren’t.

      About memes, you’re correct in that they came along while my parents were busy having a baby, but to put it plainly, my dad is way more into social media than i am. I am a bit of an exception in that i have 0 social media presence and only scroll youtube and hexbear, but still. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that it’s not like my dad is just not interested in internet culture. It’s more that he sort of thinks he is, and to some extent prides himself on being “aware” and gets really upset if I try to tell him that his entire understanding just doesn’t really line up with reality.

  • spacecadet [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    There can be great relief in realizing that keeping up with pop culture is arguably meaningless and worthless and one’s life can be plenty filled with wonder and experience via the backlog of human history or, like, a pleasant walk. #TeamDad

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      I agree, if that only were the case with my dad. Instead he religiously reads online newspapers and frequents weird “family” forums where he says he’s “just trolling a bit” but in reality gets super upset about “the feminists” or whatever and brings it up when we’re having a coffee not having seen each other in weeks

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      It’s not a problem, really. I just find it interesting and wanted to talk about it

    • IvarK@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      Sorry friend i really don’t think you do unless you’re on some serious doses of “I can fix him”