“Worker55289102921 the AI noticed your eyes are slightly more red and drier than usual today. It went ahead and automatically ran an analysis on your urine during your first unauthorized break of the day.”
“Uhhh… wait, wha-”
“Worker55289102921, please do not speak during this stage of the admonishment process. By the way, may I call you Mr. 55289102921? I prefer a friendly approach to managing the human capital under me. Ah, no response needed Mr. 55289102921, the AI has already ran your likely responses to this question based on scraped information from your personal and work emails and text messages- please do not speak. The AI has alerted me that your brain activity and blood pressure indicates you are becoming angry and might soon say something… regretful for your continued relationship with the company. Thank you for understanding, Mr. 55289102922. Now, back to the issue of your urine test…”
“hey worker, is something bothering you?”
“Uh no, I’m fine”
“Okay good, here’s a mountain of tasks I need you to do”
“Well now something’s bothering me”
“Worker55289102921 the AI noticed your eyes are slightly more red and drier than usual today. It went ahead and automatically ran an analysis on your urine during your first unauthorized break of the day.”
“Uhhh… wait, wha-”
“Worker55289102921, please do not speak during this stage of the admonishment process. By the way, may I call you Mr. 55289102921? I prefer a friendly approach to managing the human capital under me. Ah, no response needed Mr. 55289102921, the AI has already ran your likely responses to this question based on scraped information from your personal and work emails and text messages- please do not speak. The AI has alerted me that your brain activity and blood pressure indicates you are becoming angry and might soon say something… regretful for your continued relationship with the company. Thank you for understanding, Mr. 55289102922. Now, back to the issue of your urine test…”
[the future all managers desire]