I don’t want to get in the middle of this kink at pride discussion, much less define what queerness is, but I will just say that I am a very kinky cishet guy. I wouldn’t identify as queer just because I’m kinky/nonvanilla. That would seem deeply problematic to me if I did it because I don’t think my kinks queer my sexual orientation, in fact I kinda feel like my kinks in totality reinforce my cishetness. I can see how queerness and kink are mutually inclusive but I wouldn’t think that they are mutually exhaustive.

I don’t go to any of the kink-specific festivals or rallies though. I feel like they’re kinda cringe? Maybe it’s just me. I went to one once but got bored because it wasn’t kinky enough for me so I left and went to the library. I guess I expected a kinky orgy or something, I don’t know.