I know you want Joe. I do too. The news this week has left us hurt because we know how much more good he could do if he was given the chance. I know you don’t want to toss away your love and admiration for him like he’s some rotten food in the back of the fridge. No one deserves that.

But think for a moment. Mark Hamill calls him “Joebi-Wan Kenobi”. And he is. We are trying to rescue Princess Liberty Americana while he’s fighting Darth Media. We are trying to escape on the Electoral Falcon and Joebi-Wan sees us, steps back, holds up his lightsaber, and lets Darth take that fatal swing.

What did you do when you heard the news on Sunday? You screamed “No”, didn’t you? As if you were Luke Skyvoter. You’re now sitting at that table going “I can’t believe he’s gone [from the race]” while the princess tells you “There wasn’t anything you could have done.”

Well, I’m your Han Solo and I am here to tell you “C’mon, buddy. We’re not out of this yet.” We still need to rise up and take down wannabe Emperor Orangetine.

May the Force be with you. Always.

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