People are painful to me. I find their presence painful. I’ve been this way since infancy. I created a suite of methods for keeping them away (methods like “passive-aggressive hostility”). These methods became deep habits. Later in life I hungered for company and couldn’t figure out why I was so bad at it. I just recently realized what’s up (thanks meditation). Do any of you relate?
i felt this way too so i started therapy a while ago and that led to getting tested and diagnosed with autism.
i was surprised since i had known and worked with autistic people and seen depictions of them on tv and movies and never guessed that i shared the same condition that they did. many people refuse to believe that i’m autistic still.
i got that diagnosis when i first hit middle age and learning about it made me wish that i had known sooner since that knowledge would have helped A LOT in my past.