People are painful to me. I find their presence painful. I’ve been this way since infancy. I created a suite of methods for keeping them away (methods like “passive-aggressive hostility”). These methods became deep habits. Later in life I hungered for company and couldn’t figure out why I was so bad at it. I just recently realized what’s up (thanks meditation). Do any of you relate?

  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    452·
    2 months ago

    I just feel like a loser who is dead weight on everyone else’s life. So I don’t do a good job of keeping in touch with anyone, ever.

    I hunger for connection, but I assume everyone else is in the same boat: overworked, underpaid, unable to make time, and already has a boatload of problems, they don’t need one more person who needs support, so why bother wasting their time.

      • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
        123·
        2 months ago

        Social atomisation of the population is one of the key goal of the regime. They want to break up social connections and make everybody rely on centralized authorities for everything.

        They have succeeded at it too.

        They overwork us so we have not time or energy for being human.

    • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
      5·
      2 months ago

      This has kept me from reaching out to all of my old friends. They ended up hanging out amongst themselves just like old times but I figured if they wanted me there with them too they’d invite me. Since they haven’t, they’re probably fine with me not being there/dont want me there. Oh well. Still makes me sad about missed interactions but I guess it is what it is.

      I used to be toxic (maybe I still am?) so this is my punishment for it.

      • averyminya@beehaw.org
        1·
        2 months ago

        People are proximal! Maybe they haven’t reached out because they feel the same about you – “Man, I miss PerogiBoi! I know they’re around but they haven’t reached out to hang with our crew… they must need some space or have moved on”.

        It goes both ways!

  • cosmicrookie@lemmy.world
    20·
    2 months ago

    I am antisocial because i dont like people. Its not keeping me down more or less than other things i am. Its just how it is.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    161·
    2 months ago

    Get into therapy. The best time to start was years ago. The next best time to start is now.

    I had all kinds of anti-social coping mechanisms. Life was challenging in ways that made me an asshole. I’ve been able to unravel it about 97% and have made huge strides in other areas. I didn’t think I’d ever be where I am today. Do yourself a favor and find someone you trust (it might not be the first therapist you consult) and work on yourself.

  • lady_maria@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    2 months ago

    Yeah. I mean, I genuinely do enjoy hanging out with the right kinds people. Occasionally. And for relatively short periods of time. I just have so little social energy and a lot of social anxiety. I find myself frustratingly uninterested in (and/or overwhelmed with) the idea of socializing, not even via text, and I pretty much rely on my SO for making/hanging with friends. So, not great.

    I’ve always thought I could get a lot out of meditation, but I’m so bad at sticking to literally anything. Maybe it’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I’ve tried so many things in an attempt to increase socialization or even generally just improving my own life.

    I don’t really want to be this antisocial, but making and keeping close friendships seems so daunting and exhausting to me.

  • Chaos@lemmy.ml
    5·
    2 months ago

    I am antisocial by nature although I learned how to socialize " born an introvert learned to ambivert " it is simple my brother you just have to learn how to talk with people calmly also being alone is always better because you can hear your thoughts process life to make better decisions, people are always noisy and loud and mostly the majority of them won’t help you (that’s based on my experience alone tho because people differ from each other)

  • eldavi@lemmy.ml
    4·
    2 months ago

    i felt this way too so i started therapy a while ago and that led to getting tested and diagnosed with autism.

    i was surprised since i had known and worked with autistic people and seen depictions of them on tv and movies and never guessed that i shared the same condition that they did. many people refuse to believe that i’m autistic still.

    i got that diagnosis when i first hit middle age and learning about it made me wish that i had known sooner since that knowledge would have helped A LOT in my past.

  • multifariace@lemmy.world
    3·
    2 months ago

    I’d say yes, but it is flipped according to you’re situation. I have struggled my entire adult life with antisocial behavior. I am the type of person who gets energy from group activities. Organizing enough people to do so has always been challenging. I also am not into the bar and club scene. Meetup.com helped for several years. That faded away before covid, but the epidemic set everyone back 20 years in social gains. I see some recovery, but other circumstances are keeping me from being able to spend more time with groups. A big part of it is people seem to avoid social interations a lot more.