Especially because it’s mostly relatively thin until you get close to the base–you could sit on that and still not have the thickest part actually in. If I had to guess, that’d probably be around… 6-7 inch circumference at the base? Big, but because it’s the bottom of a taper it’s not nearly as impactful as like the same circumference on the bulb of a butt plug or a knot.
Ooo sure! Always happy to pass on knowledge! First and foremost, materials! Many materials commonly used for cheap sex toys aren’t safe for anal use. TPU, TPE, and PVC being among the worse. Low quality silicone can also be dangerous. These basically are carcinogens when used anally, your butt is literally designed to absorb everything it can. I’m in the US, and there’s no regulation on sex toy materials here, so it’s perfectly legal to sell toys that give you ass cancer. I’m assuming from your lemmy instance you’re from the netherlands or somewhere in europe, so the legality where you are may vary, but it’s something you really need to look out for. The materials that are butt safe are steel, glass, and platinum cure or medical grade silicone. Platinum cure silicone literally uses platinum as an ingredient in the curing process, so it’s a bit more expensive, but unlike tin cure silicone it doesn’t break down over time. It will last you forever, as long as you don’t do something to destroy it.
Next up, lube! Good lube is really important to a good experience. There’s three main categories, water based, oil based, and silicone based. Water based is the easiest to clean up, washes off easily, and lasts the least amount of time. Oil based is harder to clean up, can stain, but still washes off without too much trouble and lasts longer. Silicone lube is damn difficult to clean up, can ruin silicone toys, but pretty much never dries out. For water based lube, I recommend getting it powdered (xLube or kLube) and mixing it with water yourself. It’s far cheaper than buying premixed stuff, and you can control how thick it is, which is nice. xLube is easier to get in europe, kLube is easier to get in the US. This is my general go-to stuff. Oil based lube is ideal for use in the shower and when you’re using butt plugs for long periods of time. It doesn’t wash away instantly like water based lube does but isn’t hard to clean off with soap. I use coconut oil for this, you can get it at your local grocery store cheap. It can come as a liquid or a solid, personally I like the solid stuff–it melts easily with body heat. I honestly don’t recommend using silicone lube for the most part, for toying at least. it has the potential to ruin silicone toys, depending on the specifics of the toy and the lube and is such a pain to clean up. If you get it in the carpet, it’s pretty much impossible to completely get out. For fucking people instead of toys it’s better, you don’t need to worry about reapplying it or ruining your toys. It’s also good if you want to use a chastity device, to keep everything from chafing.
Finally, toys! There’s 4 or 5 things that really are the cause of pleasure in a toy. Girth at your butthole, girth at your inner band or sigmoid (depending on depth), texture, length, and depending on your biology, prostate stimulation. Texture is one of the most important qualities and can make or break a toy. What you want really depends on the other qualities of the toy. A toy made from firm silicone will make you feel the texture a lot more than one made from soft silicone. Similarly, a toy that’s a lot closer to the girth limit you can take will make you feel the texture a lot more. A firm toy that’s close to your limit that has rough texture just won’t feel that good.
A small aside to talk about anatomy–You have 3 main sphincters more or less accessible in your ass. There’s your anus, the outer one. There’s a muscle that’s not quite a sphincter but performs basically the same function known as the inner band that divides your rectum in two, and then there’s the sigmoid sphincter, which seperates your rectum from your large intestine. Understanding what you want for a toy in terms of girth and depth are dependent on these. Your outer anus is generally stretchier than your inner band–something that you can easily take shallowly can be a challenge to work in deeper because of this. So, it’s important to keep in mind if you’re picking a longer toy that you’ll be wanting to fit it through the inner band, not just your butthole. This isn’t a problem, just something to keep in mind when you’re starting out or if you mostly use plugs. The sigmoid isn’t something you have to worry about penetrating accidentally–if that’s something you want to do, you should look for something longer specifically when toy shopping. It’s the tightest of the three and is… odd feeling to penetrate. Good, though.
Firmer toys also generally stimulate the prostate better. Your prostate is pretty close to the anus so a toy doesn’t have to be very long at all to be good for prostate stim, but a longer toy can also be nice for it because it’s easier to manipulate with kegels. Overall, your rectum is kind of like a sock–if you stretch it wide it won’t have much depth, if you stretch it long it won’t have much girth. So, even though a toy might be short enough and slim enough, if it’s close to the limit of both you might have trouble with it anyways.
So, keep in mind when toy shopping, what qualities you’re looking for in a toy. Switch it up! Have some toys that hit some criteria, some that hit others! Fantasy toys aren’t just for furries, different shapes hit you differently and are pleasurable in different ways. Experiment and find out what you like!
The one thing I can’t recommend enough is a soft, squishy plug. Because it’s soft, you can fit larger ones than you might think, and doing kegels with them soft enough to stretch with your movements feels really nice. They’re typically very rounded, and between that and the softness they’re very very comfortable.
I think that’s all the important stuff! Please, feel free to ask me any questions you might have! Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Hey pal, you gave me some great advice. I learned a lot, and I’m willing to really get into the craft, but I would still like to know more. What’s the proper routine for starting and ending a session? What kind of maintenance can I expect to do? What are some great methods to clean myself? What would you say is the most effective one? And which would be the most discrete? Thanks in advance.
Sorry, been having a terrible time and this got forgotten. So, enemas! There’s a lot of info out there about how to do it right and honestly I don’t think much of it is all too helpful. Quick anatomy refresher, after your anus you have the rectum, which is divided in two by a muscle called the inner band, which technically isn’t a sphincter but is in practicality. After the rectum, you have your sigmoid sphincter that separates your rectum from your large intestine. Your large intestine goes up, across your abdomen, and down on the other side.
What does this mean for cleaning out? Basically, it depends on what you want to do. If you want to have a quick session with a small toy, you don’t want to use a lot of water all at once. The deeper the water goes, the more difficult it is to get back out. You can learn to manually relax your inner band to let water back out of the top part of your rectum without too much trouble, but that’s not really something you can do with your sigmoid. If you want to have a longer session and guarantee you won’t get interrupted, or if you want to use a long toy that might enter your sigmoid or go deep enough to stimulate stuff into moving, doing some more and washing out your descending colon is a good idea. If you want to be clean all day, you can do a really deep wash, essentially filling up your entire large intestine. This is generally a bit uncomfortable and particularly time intensive and generally overkill.
“Wow, this sure sounds like a lot of work!”, you might be thinking. It can be. However, if you have a good diet/take fiber supplements, you might be able to skip it most of the time. High fiber basically makes your waste stick together much better, so you don’t need to worry about washing out, just making there’s nothing actively in the way. It also makes it much easier to deal with if there is, cause it doesn’t stick to everything. If you’re fucking actual people instead of toys, shit and go is really probably all you need, as long as your diet isn’t too bad.
Ok, so I’ve talked a lot about it without actually saying anything about how to do it. I will say ahead of time, if you’re not squeamish about poop, it does make it easier. Generally, you’re going to be filling up with however much water feels right for how deep you want to clean, and then letting it go in the toilet, several times. There’s all sorts of advice out there for how to let go of the water and how you know you got it all out, but really, it’s just something you figure out from practice and learning how your body feels and learn how moving different muscles affects you. There’s two main tools for cleaning out I recommend, there’s a classic enema bulb, which you fill with water, screw a nozzle onto, and squeeze it to release it. There are also shower hookup systems, where you basically add a hose with a nozzle between your shower head and the pipe. They have valves, so you don’t need to worry about installing it repeatedly. I highly recommend the latter, it really does make it much easier, and I like being able to do the whole thing in the shower. Personally, I empty into a dedicated collander I keep in the shower, and then dump it into a plastic bag which I toss. If you’re ok with waffle stomping, that’s an option, I just don’t care for it personally. Doing it in the shower like that makes it easier for me, but it really depends on how ok you are with poop. Not being squeamish also makes it easier to check if your rectum is clean, you can just reach some fingers in there and check. I recommend weighing yourself before and after, as that’s a good indicator you’ve gotten all the water back out.
Bulb’s definitely better for discreteness, as it’s hideable and a shower hookup isn’t, not easily at least.
For routines in general, if you have a prostate, I recommend not masturbating for a while before your session. You’ll get more pleasure out of a prostate that hasn’t been, uh, used recently. The longer your session goes, the better it gets, and if you cum from penis stimulation, it’ll kind of kill the session. So, resist the temptation and just keep going! If you have a hard time with that, I found chastity cages make a pretty good solution to that. The afterglow from a good session is really nice, it makes me giggly and snuggly. The come down can be kinda rough, so just be prepared for a bit of a crash if it was really good.
Ok, I think I’ve rambled enough, I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions don’t be afraid to ask!
Cheers, mate! Looks like veganism does have its perks lol. Sorry to hear that the times suck. I do have another question. How should I clean my tools before and after use? Any tips on storing them safely, discreetly and hygienically?
Keeping your toys clean isn’t too hard if they’re made of proper materials! Hot water and soap will work fine. If you ever find any of them developing a persistent smell, boil them or run them through the dish washer. It’s never been something I’ve HAD to do, but I run stuff through the dish washer every few months. For storage, a cloth bag works best. An old pillowcase will work fine. Make sure if you have any toys made from questionable materials, you keep them away from your proper silicone toys. Vinyl and the softener additive for it will melt and break down silicone. Shouldn’t be a problem, because you should never use a tpu, tpe, or PVC toy anally anyways.
That depends how much experience you have, it’s mini for some people.
Especially because it’s mostly relatively thin until you get close to the base–you could sit on that and still not have the thickest part actually in. If I had to guess, that’d probably be around… 6-7 inch circumference at the base? Big, but because it’s the bottom of a taper it’s not nearly as impactful as like the same circumference on the bulb of a butt plug or a knot.
Clearly, we’ve got an expert on our hands. Any tips for a newbie like me?
Ooo sure! Always happy to pass on knowledge! First and foremost, materials! Many materials commonly used for cheap sex toys aren’t safe for anal use. TPU, TPE, and PVC being among the worse. Low quality silicone can also be dangerous. These basically are carcinogens when used anally, your butt is literally designed to absorb everything it can. I’m in the US, and there’s no regulation on sex toy materials here, so it’s perfectly legal to sell toys that give you ass cancer. I’m assuming from your lemmy instance you’re from the netherlands or somewhere in europe, so the legality where you are may vary, but it’s something you really need to look out for. The materials that are butt safe are steel, glass, and platinum cure or medical grade silicone. Platinum cure silicone literally uses platinum as an ingredient in the curing process, so it’s a bit more expensive, but unlike tin cure silicone it doesn’t break down over time. It will last you forever, as long as you don’t do something to destroy it.
Next up, lube! Good lube is really important to a good experience. There’s three main categories, water based, oil based, and silicone based. Water based is the easiest to clean up, washes off easily, and lasts the least amount of time. Oil based is harder to clean up, can stain, but still washes off without too much trouble and lasts longer. Silicone lube is damn difficult to clean up, can ruin silicone toys, but pretty much never dries out. For water based lube, I recommend getting it powdered (xLube or kLube) and mixing it with water yourself. It’s far cheaper than buying premixed stuff, and you can control how thick it is, which is nice. xLube is easier to get in europe, kLube is easier to get in the US. This is my general go-to stuff. Oil based lube is ideal for use in the shower and when you’re using butt plugs for long periods of time. It doesn’t wash away instantly like water based lube does but isn’t hard to clean off with soap. I use coconut oil for this, you can get it at your local grocery store cheap. It can come as a liquid or a solid, personally I like the solid stuff–it melts easily with body heat. I honestly don’t recommend using silicone lube for the most part, for toying at least. it has the potential to ruin silicone toys, depending on the specifics of the toy and the lube and is such a pain to clean up. If you get it in the carpet, it’s pretty much impossible to completely get out. For fucking people instead of toys it’s better, you don’t need to worry about reapplying it or ruining your toys. It’s also good if you want to use a chastity device, to keep everything from chafing.
Finally, toys! There’s 4 or 5 things that really are the cause of pleasure in a toy. Girth at your butthole, girth at your inner band or sigmoid (depending on depth), texture, length, and depending on your biology, prostate stimulation. Texture is one of the most important qualities and can make or break a toy. What you want really depends on the other qualities of the toy. A toy made from firm silicone will make you feel the texture a lot more than one made from soft silicone. Similarly, a toy that’s a lot closer to the girth limit you can take will make you feel the texture a lot more. A firm toy that’s close to your limit that has rough texture just won’t feel that good.
A small aside to talk about anatomy–You have 3 main sphincters more or less accessible in your ass. There’s your anus, the outer one. There’s a muscle that’s not quite a sphincter but performs basically the same function known as the inner band that divides your rectum in two, and then there’s the sigmoid sphincter, which seperates your rectum from your large intestine. Understanding what you want for a toy in terms of girth and depth are dependent on these. Your outer anus is generally stretchier than your inner band–something that you can easily take shallowly can be a challenge to work in deeper because of this. So, it’s important to keep in mind if you’re picking a longer toy that you’ll be wanting to fit it through the inner band, not just your butthole. This isn’t a problem, just something to keep in mind when you’re starting out or if you mostly use plugs. The sigmoid isn’t something you have to worry about penetrating accidentally–if that’s something you want to do, you should look for something longer specifically when toy shopping. It’s the tightest of the three and is… odd feeling to penetrate. Good, though.
Firmer toys also generally stimulate the prostate better. Your prostate is pretty close to the anus so a toy doesn’t have to be very long at all to be good for prostate stim, but a longer toy can also be nice for it because it’s easier to manipulate with kegels. Overall, your rectum is kind of like a sock–if you stretch it wide it won’t have much depth, if you stretch it long it won’t have much girth. So, even though a toy might be short enough and slim enough, if it’s close to the limit of both you might have trouble with it anyways.
So, keep in mind when toy shopping, what qualities you’re looking for in a toy. Switch it up! Have some toys that hit some criteria, some that hit others! Fantasy toys aren’t just for furries, different shapes hit you differently and are pleasurable in different ways. Experiment and find out what you like!
The one thing I can’t recommend enough is a soft, squishy plug. Because it’s soft, you can fit larger ones than you might think, and doing kegels with them soft enough to stretch with your movements feels really nice. They’re typically very rounded, and between that and the softness they’re very very comfortable.
I think that’s all the important stuff! Please, feel free to ask me any questions you might have! Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
I can only ever hope to be a master of the craft like you are. Thanks for the great wall of tex!
Hey pal, you gave me some great advice. I learned a lot, and I’m willing to really get into the craft, but I would still like to know more. What’s the proper routine for starting and ending a session? What kind of maintenance can I expect to do? What are some great methods to clean myself? What would you say is the most effective one? And which would be the most discrete? Thanks in advance.
Sorry, been having a terrible time and this got forgotten. So, enemas! There’s a lot of info out there about how to do it right and honestly I don’t think much of it is all too helpful. Quick anatomy refresher, after your anus you have the rectum, which is divided in two by a muscle called the inner band, which technically isn’t a sphincter but is in practicality. After the rectum, you have your sigmoid sphincter that separates your rectum from your large intestine. Your large intestine goes up, across your abdomen, and down on the other side.
What does this mean for cleaning out? Basically, it depends on what you want to do. If you want to have a quick session with a small toy, you don’t want to use a lot of water all at once. The deeper the water goes, the more difficult it is to get back out. You can learn to manually relax your inner band to let water back out of the top part of your rectum without too much trouble, but that’s not really something you can do with your sigmoid. If you want to have a longer session and guarantee you won’t get interrupted, or if you want to use a long toy that might enter your sigmoid or go deep enough to stimulate stuff into moving, doing some more and washing out your descending colon is a good idea. If you want to be clean all day, you can do a really deep wash, essentially filling up your entire large intestine. This is generally a bit uncomfortable and particularly time intensive and generally overkill.
“Wow, this sure sounds like a lot of work!”, you might be thinking. It can be. However, if you have a good diet/take fiber supplements, you might be able to skip it most of the time. High fiber basically makes your waste stick together much better, so you don’t need to worry about washing out, just making there’s nothing actively in the way. It also makes it much easier to deal with if there is, cause it doesn’t stick to everything. If you’re fucking actual people instead of toys, shit and go is really probably all you need, as long as your diet isn’t too bad.
Ok, so I’ve talked a lot about it without actually saying anything about how to do it. I will say ahead of time, if you’re not squeamish about poop, it does make it easier. Generally, you’re going to be filling up with however much water feels right for how deep you want to clean, and then letting it go in the toilet, several times. There’s all sorts of advice out there for how to let go of the water and how you know you got it all out, but really, it’s just something you figure out from practice and learning how your body feels and learn how moving different muscles affects you. There’s two main tools for cleaning out I recommend, there’s a classic enema bulb, which you fill with water, screw a nozzle onto, and squeeze it to release it. There are also shower hookup systems, where you basically add a hose with a nozzle between your shower head and the pipe. They have valves, so you don’t need to worry about installing it repeatedly. I highly recommend the latter, it really does make it much easier, and I like being able to do the whole thing in the shower. Personally, I empty into a dedicated collander I keep in the shower, and then dump it into a plastic bag which I toss. If you’re ok with waffle stomping, that’s an option, I just don’t care for it personally. Doing it in the shower like that makes it easier for me, but it really depends on how ok you are with poop. Not being squeamish also makes it easier to check if your rectum is clean, you can just reach some fingers in there and check. I recommend weighing yourself before and after, as that’s a good indicator you’ve gotten all the water back out.
Bulb’s definitely better for discreteness, as it’s hideable and a shower hookup isn’t, not easily at least.
For routines in general, if you have a prostate, I recommend not masturbating for a while before your session. You’ll get more pleasure out of a prostate that hasn’t been, uh, used recently. The longer your session goes, the better it gets, and if you cum from penis stimulation, it’ll kind of kill the session. So, resist the temptation and just keep going! If you have a hard time with that, I found chastity cages make a pretty good solution to that. The afterglow from a good session is really nice, it makes me giggly and snuggly. The come down can be kinda rough, so just be prepared for a bit of a crash if it was really good.
Ok, I think I’ve rambled enough, I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions don’t be afraid to ask!
Cheers, mate! Looks like veganism does have its perks lol. Sorry to hear that the times suck. I do have another question. How should I clean my tools before and after use? Any tips on storing them safely, discreetly and hygienically?
Keeping your toys clean isn’t too hard if they’re made of proper materials! Hot water and soap will work fine. If you ever find any of them developing a persistent smell, boil them or run them through the dish washer. It’s never been something I’ve HAD to do, but I run stuff through the dish washer every few months. For storage, a cloth bag works best. An old pillowcase will work fine. Make sure if you have any toys made from questionable materials, you keep them away from your proper silicone toys. Vinyl and the softener additive for it will melt and break down silicone. Shouldn’t be a problem, because you should never use a tpu, tpe, or PVC toy anally anyways.